Day 5 of 12 Days of Self-Care

There is a human tendency to cease paying attention to something once we think we know it.  Instead of having a direct relationship with something that is alive, dynamic and ever changing, we go into a relationship with our thoughts, feelings, perceptions, ideas and beliefs about it.  This leads us, often subconsciously, to want people to confirm what we think we know about them.  If a person shows up or behaves contrary to what we've decided, we will be frustrated or irritated.  If they behave according to our perceptions, beliefs or ideas we feel good or satisfied or even right about them.  As you can imagine, this type of relating, which is not direct, alive and spontaneous will feel more and more empty or dull.  Having a relationship with what we think we know about someone, or how we think they should be or how we want them to be and then using our experience to validate or invalidate that is a recipe for unfulfillment.

So, what can we do if we have a desire to practice true self-care, love and be loved and cultivate genuine intimacy?  First is to acknowledge that there is a human tendency to fear the unknown.  Thus, what is known is safe and what is unknown is scary.  So, a strategy to avoid feeling fear is to decide we already know someone or something.  However, not paying attention to someone leads them to feeling ignored, undesired, confused or upset.  If your attention or having a direct relationship with you is something they want, they will behave in a way in order to get your attention.  What is the best way to get your attention?  Do you pay attention when something is wrong?  Do you pay attention when there is a problem to solve, or a wound to heal, or something broken that needs fixing?  I invite you to take a look at what best gets your attention and how often people in your life utilize those strategies.

Given what I've shared, as an invitation for day 5 of Self-Care, is to see with who and what in your life you can choose to offer your attention to, as a gift.  As you offer your attention, what can you come to know, see, feel, sense and understand about that person or thing?  When this practice is applied to you, in what way can you offer yourself attention so as to come to learn, sense, feel or understand something new about you?  Are you willing to go on the adventure of exploration?  Can you lead with curiosity and wonder as to what you'll find?  Is there a spark of joy inside you that's just waiting for you to ignite it?  What if now is the time?  Here and now you can commit to having a direct relationship with everything in your life.  In doing this, you will open the doors to receiving so much more from everything around you and thus feel more nurtured and fulfilled.  Your attention is a precious gift that can benefit you and everyone in your life.  You no longer have to fall in the trap of thinking you know something or someone, and you can establish a new relationship with the unknown so that it ins't something you fear.  Thanks for reading and I'll be back with an inspired offering tomorrow for day 6 of 12 Days of Self-Care.