For day 6 I invite you to take a look at where your motivation for self-care is arising from. Last year one of my focuses was to articulate and demonstrate the differences between fear based learning and love based learning. If your motivation for self-care is fear based, it'll be done in order to avoid punishment and acquire rewards. The setup can be that illness or disease is framed as a punishment and good health and happiness as a reward. If this is the framework, the threat of undesired circumstances or punishments will constantly have to be kept at bay, and you'll constantly have to assess your progress and good deeds in order to appoint yourself as deserving of the rewards. At some point this structure breaks down. For example, you'll have done everything right and taken good care of yourself and you get sick. Or, you'll see someone who makes lots of "bad decisions" yet is healthy. This is an indicator that you're ready to graduate from that paradigm of thought, because you've noticed the inconsistencies or holes in the logic. Essentially, pain is not a punishment, pleasure is not a reward. In the fear based model, self-love will be kept at bay too, until you've deemed yourself worthy of it, or have proven yourself to be deserving of it by doing the right thing enough times. It's exhausting to say the least and you'll probably never get there, as there is always something you could do better. It's a losing battle. For more insight into this dynamic you're welcome to read my blogs, Why You Don't Deserve Love and Is it Time to Graduate from Fear Based Learning?
So, engaging in Self-Care with a fear based approach will be fraught with conflict, pressure, fight, doubt, and ups and downs. The key is to recognize that it's possible to engage in Self-Care with a love based approach. Once you become aware that it's possible you can initiate this path of learning and growth. When the field and frequency of love becomes your source of motivation, actions are taken from where you are, in support of enhancing your well-being and enriching your life. You're welcome to read my blog, Activating Love Based Motivation to dive deeper into this subject matter. Everything changes when self-care is truly a loving action, rather than an action born of agenda of so that you don't get sick, or so that you don't gain weight etc.
Here and now I invite you to take a deep breath into the space of love based Self-Care. Become curious about what this is and how it can show up for you in your life. Everything changes when the source of motivation changes. Tune into what it would be like to care for yourself as act of love. What can enrich and support your mental and emotional well-being? What actions assist your body to feel nurtured, resourced, strong and flexible? What if anything named as weakness is not something to be feared, but rather something to be worked with and understood? What truly nourishes your body? What truly nourishes your heart and mind?
I wonder how much more the field and frequency of love can ignite in our lives, assisting Self-Care to be joyful, enriching and life enhancing. If you would like support to initiate this love based approach and clear up tendencies you developed in fear based environments, such as the tendency towards criticism, control, demand, expectation, doubt, pressure and force please get in touch through the inquiry form on my session page. It's amazing how quickly these tendencies can be evolved into something greater when loving support and attention is given to them.
Christine helps people to approach life with greater care, love & wisdom. offering presence and a unique quality of attention she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on. With all of the different tools and methods she has access to, she inspires, encourages and supports people to really love and honour themselves, and thus be more able to love and honour others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!