Are you wiling to feel different than the people around you? Many of us have trained ourselves or our bodies to match the emotional reality and even the physical reality of the people around us. In terms of matching the emotional reality, this often begins in childhood. For many of us it wasn't okay to feel completely different than our parents did. If we were really happy and exuberant when our parents were sad or frustrated it didn't go well. Or if we were sad or angry when our parents were doing well and just wanted to relax that didn't go well either. So, what did we learn to do? We learned to tailor our emotional responses to the people around us. For some of us it was a need to present as always good or happy. For others it was a need to present as always okay or fine. For others it was to present as not being good or not doing well. At some point it becomes exhausting to maintain the pretense, the presentation or the image of how we feel or who we are. We desire to know who we truly are, or to be authentic, or congruent or in alignment. So then the question becomes, how do we unravel what we put in place, or deconstruct what we previously constructed, or clear what we once created? The predominant thing required is awareness that it is there, and the choice to change it. That choice often is energized or fueled by the desire for authenticity or to know thyself, be thyself and express thyself in Truth, Love and Wisdom. We don't want to live as the personality we constructed to survive the conditions of our upbringings, we want to show up as the beings we truly are, expressing our gifts, talents and abilities for us and others to benefit and live in physical and emotional realities that honor, nurture and support us.
To go a little deeper addressing the question of unraveling what we put in place, it can be helpful to acknowledge that there was a consequence for feeling how we felt, and to acknowledge what that consequence was. It can also be helpful to acknowledge that the environment is different (you're most likely not still in your family home), and so there is space or room to choose to be and do something different without re-wounding or re-enacting the original conditions under which the adaptation strategy was put in place. Once you have acknowledged that you can step into the question of: Who am I now and how am I now? You can give yourself permission to feel how you feel and be who you are. Sometimes we will have internalized the consequences that parents or other people in our lives delivered to us in the form of an inner voice, or a wall, or a barrier or a set of sensations. That can be cleared by acknowledging that that took place and re-directing the energy, or choosing to be you and claim sovereignty from that or many other ways, depending on the tools or modalities you have available to you.
As you choose to know who you are and feel how you feel, you can ask to have people in your life who will respond differently to you than people in your past which essentially means that how they are choosing to be supports how you're choosing to be now. So for instance, if they are feeling sad and you are feeling joyful, there isn't any consequence for that, instead it's allowed or okay to include both of those emotional realities in the same physical reality. They don't have to stop feeling sad and you don't have to stop feeling joyful. And as your feeling joyful, you're able to acknowledge that they're feeling sad, as they can acknowledge your joy. Also, at any moment, either of you can choose to feel different than you have been feeling and that is included to!
How many emotional realities are you willing to include in your physical reality? For any emotional reality that you exclude, the tendency will be to reject, deny, separate from, control or manipulate or desire to change the people who are currently living in that reality. And just imagine how much of your energy, creativity, healing ability, or focus could be consumed by that? So, as you are more willing to be who you are and feel how you feel, you will increase your capacity to allow others to be who they are and feel how they feel. In this process of being in allowance you have choice and they have choice, which means you can choose to change where you show up and how you show up, you just no longer have to separate from, exclude or reject other people's emotional realities as you do that. In other words, you can acknowledge and include something in your awareness without choosing and creating it as your reality. I wrote a blog on the subject of Presence & Preference which you may enjoy if you'd like to read about this from a different angle. Another blog I wrote a few years ago called Choosing How You Feel may also benefit. In presenting all of this information, my intention is to assist all of us to have new choices available that really support us to thrive in our lives here and be nourished, loved and supported in all ways, always. Now is the time.
What would it be like to receive energetic nourishment? Many of us have been indoctrinated into environments set up around giving and taking. The focus is on what are you giving and offering, and what are you getting in exchange for that offering. The hope is that if you do things right you'll get your needs met and will be successful, fulfilled and happy. If you do things wrong, you will be left lacking, or in a state of need, not having, or grasping for sustenance or salvation. Now is the time to step out from under the grip of the punishment reward system and the exchange rate reality. In the punishment reward system the motivation is to move towards pleasure and away from pain, but what is "good" and "bad" is so relative and belief based that we end up confused and shut down or desiring to find a way to escape the pain of lack and live in a fantasy world where all is perfect, good and right and everything bad and wrong simply ceases to be. In the exchange rate reality, everything, including people have become commodified. It's all about having value or being valuable on the market so that you or your service can be exchanged for something that you want or need. Often through this style of relating people end up being diminished into mere objects or tools for other's use or benefit, or cogs in a wheel, or parts in a machine, or numbers on a screen. The end result of this type of reality is feeling de-valued, taken advantage of, dirty, disgusting, worthless or useless, trying desperately to feel important and valuable.
Now that more awareness has been brought to the punishment reward system and the exchange rate reality we can all take a deep breath, stretch out emotionally and energetically and re-direct our life force and our presence, attention and consciousness towards something greater. We can know ourselves beyond this. We can step out of these confinements that have been set up through belief and collective agreement to personally and collectively choose to create something new that honours life, includes all that we are, celebrates uniqueness, encourages expression, and facilitates the gifting and receiving of nourishment physically, mentally, emotionally and energetically. Are you ready to step into this?
What do you, at your widest and most expanded level, know about creating a reality beyond what has been actualized here? What contribution can you be to new realities existing on planet Earth? This question and this exploration is the invitation for today. More of us are awakening to new possibilities by transmuting trauma, integrating more love and wisdom, knowing ourselves at a deeper level, and releasing what we've inherited from generations past that was seeped in domination, manipulation and control and shame, blame and guilt. We can know what true choice is, re-claim our free will and show up to love each other and begin to acknowledge, accept and subsequently express our uniqueness for all we meet to benefit. It's an expression from abundance, from an energy, space and consciousness of being resourced. The miracles abound as these new possibilities are actualized into reality through each of our choices to commit to our lives and realize what we're truly here to be and do. Now is the time.
We are here
Our time has come
We awaken to the wisdom within
Calling us beyond what has been
To embrace what our hearts know
We lay down the burden of lies
We reclaim the discernment of Truth
New possibilities emerge
New realities are created
Life is honoured
Our bodies are nurtured
Our energetic gifts come online
We bow to the One within
Uniting all of us in a field of love
We begin anew
Claiming this life as ours to live
Together we thrive
Separation becomes a distant memory
We forgive the versions of us that didn't know better
And embrace the ones that do
Here we are
We are here
Our time has come
I'm sure anyone reading this blog has heard the statement "ask and you shall receive". Many teachings offer something like a recipe which includes asking for what you want, shifting into a state of allowance or non-resistance and receiving that which you have been asking for. Ideally, this model would work seamlessly. Often though, something is missing. We ask and can't receive, or seem to be locked in a pattern of resistance. Often we feel like we're missing something, have done something wrong or conclude that we just must not be worthy or deserving of having what we want. From there we tend to go to work on finding out limiting beliefs that we carry. What did we learn from Mom? From Dad? From our culture? From our friends, siblings, extended family and school? We're hunting for what's keeping us from receiving and having what we truly desire. For a while this hunt or search is fun, illuminating, purposeful and even fulfilling. Eventually it tends to lose its luster. It's no longer very exciting to go sifting through past experiences, or trying to ask the universe in the right way, or trying to figure out where our resistance is, or trying to figure out how to receive. So, what do we do when we're tired of all this? At some point there is a moment of surrender, alongside a natural inclination to go deeper.
One approach to going deeper is to imagine that you could begin anew, from where you are, as you are now. It's no longer about change, or sifting through the past or trying to get your vision of the future just right so you can conjure up the emotion or feeling state that would it encourage it to show up in your life. Instead, you can choose to take a deep breath and get curious about what it would be like to really know you, all aspects of you. What does your heart know? What does your body know? What does your higher self or multi-dimensional self know? As you come to know more of who you are the possibility becomes available to express more of who you are. Then it becomes more about actualizing the fruits of the consciousness you've cultivated and calling forward possibilities that better reflect the truth of you. The tricky thing with a lot of this is that words can only point to the true experience, which is more of an energetic and emotional reality than an intellectual one.
From my point of view we're coming to the end of being able to solve the problems, heal the wounds, fix what's broken and correct what's wrong using the mind. For many people the mind is tired, and on some level is ready for the heart and body to get to step up and contribute to the creation of a life that is more fulfilling and satisfying, as well as contributing to the creation of a world that works better for more people. So, what is the invitation here? It's to begin to ask how you can include your body, heart and mind in the creation of your life, while consulting your higher self and other guides that you may or may not yet be aware of. The more all of you is included, the easier it will be to ask for and receive what nourishes you and benefits others. When you are nourished and abundant, you're in a better space to gift and offer. Allow yourself to gift and receive, and to value gifting and receiving. Take the time to ask yourself what you most want and desire. Often the desires and wants will be about gifting and receiving. Both can be equally nourishing and nurturing. What can you now choose to nurture and nourish yourself with?