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Many of us are ready to step beyond the world of either/or. We're no longer desiring to be one thing or another, or be stuck or caught in one role or another. I'm speaking specifically to potentials for friendships and intimate relationships. True reciprocity is about loving AND being loved, caring for AND being cared for, supporting AND being supported. As we step into this space, there is room for contribution to become known, which is about the simultaneity of gifting and receiving. This choice to be and receive supports the circulation of energy, the lightness of being, and the joy of interacting in the interpersonal field. How much more can we step into this space of true reciprocity now?
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What would be a healing experience for you? A few possibilities are: being able to be or do something for yourself that you were previously unable to be or do, being or doing something with someone that was previously unavailable or inaccessible, or being or doing something for someone or having something done for you that you haven't yet been able to offer or receive. In cultures that are more individualistic in nature there is often a lot of pressure or praise for what we can do by ourselves or for ourselves. Having help can be associated with failing or being incapable or being incompetent. This mindset would lead to a lot of emphasis on loving yourself, providing for yourself and being independent. Those things would be associated with success. Wounding would usually show up in the form of feeling not good enough, undeserving or unworthy of loving yourself, providing for yourself and being independent. In other words something is missing or something is wrong with you if you can't do that. For someone who carries values such as these, imagine how receptive he or she would be to having someone else provide for them and love them. Imagine how they would feel about being dependent on others.
In cultures that are more collectivist in nature it would be more about the group, belonging and fitting in, being helpful, sacrificing yourself for the well-being of the collective, not being selfish or self-centered, and making others proud by your accomplishments and achievements. The emphasis would be on thinking about others and doing things to benefit others or prove, show or demonstrate to them that you care more about them then yourself. Wounding may show up in the form of being shamed for not doing the right thing, or shunned if you don't comply, or being cast out if you don't share the values or beliefs of the group, or being accused of being selfish and not caring enough or doing enough for other people. Did you grow up in an environment that was more individualistic or collectivist in nature? For many of us we grew up with influences from both, and for many of us our healing path is going beyond the either/or into the inclusion of elements that are in our best interest to include. In this case, it is about the individual AND the collective. It is about self-love AND loving and being loved by others. It's about providing certain things for ourselves, providing certain things for others and having certain things provided for us. It's about being dependent on certain people, places and things AND self-reliant, autonomous and independent in other respects. In terms of welcoming healing experiences, we can invite that which is in our best interests to have done for us, what's in our best interests to be or do for ourselves and what's in our best interests to do with or for other people. Imagine what it would be like to step beyond individualistic or collectivist, beyond the individual or the collective. If we don't acknowledge these different influences on our values, beliefs, perspectives and approach, we may prevent ourselves from inviting and moving towards the healing experiences that would enrich, inspire and support us and others. Here are some questions that you can contemplate, that may help you to get in touch with potential healing experiences:
Now is time when many of us are being called to develop inclusive attention, which goes beyond the either/or. This allows us to attend to our best interests as a unique, autonomous individual AND as a part of the collective well-being. This ultimately allows us to build a life in and through the field and frequency of love. A few blogs that explore these subjects, that you can link to when you click on the titles are: Building Your Life, Inclusive Attention and Living Beyond Polarity. Not only is it a time to evolve our communication in the outer world, it's a time to evolve our communication in the inner world. What if you could communicate easily with different parts of your body and different aspects of Self? I facilitated an online class last night. Here is a segment of the class description:
"In this class we'll acknowledge the parts of the body that make up the whole of the body, and the aspects of who we are that make up the totality of who we are...How much more ease can we now have in communication with parts of the body and aspects of the Self? How can this translate into the interpersonal field? How can this translate into our being with nature and the Earth? How can this translate into our knowing of the future and awareness of what we can choose and direct our presence and attention towards? How can this translate into us truly thriving and being prosperous?" It was a fascinating journey to explore these pathways of communication. We can really enrich our inner life and witness it bridge, merge and unify with our outer life. We can get in touch with parts of the body that make up the whole of the body, and aspects of the Self that make up the totality of who we are. As this is initiated it can translate or show up in the interpersonal arena and in the field of interdependence with people, places, things, money, work and relationships. In some ways it's beyond what can be articulated in words. The main thing is to awaken the curiosity and possibility of re-establishing wholeness and deepening our relationship with Life. Inner conflict or opposition can be resolved, confusion can become clarified and peace and calm can replace the complexity of not understanding what's playing out in our bodies or inner space, and how that relates to what's happening in our lives and in our perception of the world. |
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Photos used under Creative Commons from andrewmalone, Aitor Escauriaza, ComputerHotline, Dominic's pics, FredoAlvarez, jakeliefer, entirelysubjective, istopcrappics, globochem3x1minus1
