What if it’s not a motivation problem?
What if the statement, “I’m just not motivated,” really means, “I’m not yet ready and/or willing to become aware of what’s really going on for me?” Every time we create a conclusion about why things are as they are or why we are as we are, we close the door to receiving new insights or information about it. Speaking to the subject of motivation, when it shows up as a challenge for you, one of two things may be going on. 1) What you plan to do is out of alignment with your values or 2) Fear is operating.
On the subject of values, I speak to that in some of my earlier posts. Speaking to the subject of fear, there are seeming endless perspectives on what it is, why it’s there and how to move through it. What if what was really going on is that you didn’t want to confirm what you believe to be true about you? This includes proving all the ways that you are wrong, a failure, bad, unlovable, not good enough etc. An example would be not applying for a job that you really want because if you don’t get it it’ll drive home the belief you have that you are a failure or not good enough. Another example would be saying no to a date because you don’t want to have to experience feelings of rejection if they change their mind later on (which would prove that you’re not desirable or lovable). Take a look at the points of view or beliefs that you’re carrying (that you may not want to see). Did they start with you? Do they belong to you? What if they were never yours to begin with? See, many people have come to see themselves as a collection of stories about what’s right and what’s wrong about them from their point of view. What if we are all so much more than that? And what if we were willing to let go of everywhere where we’ve been trying to prove how bad and wrong or how good and right we are? My sense is that there is so much more beyond the good/bad, right/wrong paradigm that many of us have been operating in. One of my favourite questions is, “What else is possible?” Play with these questions and see what shows up. I heard the phrase recently that your job is not to know how, your job is to say yes.
A few words on forgiveness
Forgiveness is a very interesting subject. My take is to free up as much of our life energy as possible to access our creativity and harness it in service of good. When we're 'bound' by what's going on 'out there' it's almost impossible to bring in something new. By withholding forgiveness, we're essentially punishing ourselves for expecting others to know better, even though they have no access to their loving, creative capacities. It is difficult for people to behave in loving, life giving ways if their focus is fear based and centered on survival and accumulation of resources (trying to protect themselves from the "unknown"...the question being, how do I "get" more so I'll be more safe and secure?!). One of the topics at an open mic night that I read at was forgiveness and this is what I came up with:
Releasing ourselves from the pain of holding on to high expectations and judgment based on part of the picture. 'They' did the best that they could with the skills and abilities they had at the time. 'We' did the best that we could with the skills and abilities that we had at the time. Do we desire to have new life? Do we desire to have a fuller, more joyful experience? This requires forgiveness. Not necessarily knowing how but being willing to do it. In this willingness, openness, and humility, Grace can show up and free us from the burdens of maintaining our filters. Instead of experiencing life through a looking glass, disconnected and detached, we can feel it directly. We can let the beautiful light of truth dissolve the tension caused by the perception of unmet needs. We can let life nurture us. There is a presence that is available to us now, when we are willing to release past error. Unhooked, released, and free, we can forgive ourselves for expecting and thus accepting a limited existence. Laughter breaks the spell, bridging the gap between not good enough and perfect. Welcome back.
Christine helps people to approach life with greater care, love & wisdom. offering presence and a unique quality of attention she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on. With all of the different tools and methods she has access to, she inspires, encourages and supports people to really love and honour themselves, and thus be more able to love and honour others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!