As we expand in consciousness and know ourselves more as our essence, or who we are beyond this body, this mind and this life, on the one hand it can be amazing, liberating, joyous and expansive. At the same time, sadness and grief can emerge. As we are expanding we are simultaneously losing various identities we've held over time. As you expand you can feel like you are losing yourself. What is really happening is that what your Self has been identified with or by is changing. So, as you're more liberated and free, and also feeling this grief, sadness and sense of loss, know that this is what it's about. You will no longer be as identified with the job you have, or the house, or the people in your life. Temporarily these things can even cease to have meaning, which can be extremely disorienting. What you once cared about you no longer care about. What was once so important to you is no longer important to you. What once motivated you no longer does. In this process of dis-identification, it can be valuable because it allows you to identify with your Essence, or Higher Self, or Consciousness, who you are at a wider level. As this new identity is stabilized, you can then gain appreciation for the body, the mind, the life your living, the people you have in your life, the activities you are participating in etc.
So again, if grief and sadness starts emerging in your life and it's either confusing because nothing is "wrong", or disorienting because you can't assign it to anything in particular, know that it is a natural complement to awakening, or shifting your identification from person, places and things to knowing the Self and appreciating the people, places and things in your life. Be aware of what you have been most identified with. Is it your body? Your mind? Your partner? Your children? Your job? Your possessions? It's not right or wrong to be identified with things, it's just a choice. It's just the more you are identified with something, the harder it is to allow for change, growth, expansion and transition. If you are strongly identified with something or someone and it changes it can be very painful. Whereas if you are identified as you, you can more easily welcome the change, invite the change and even celebrate the change, even if other people might name it as "negative" or a loss or something going wrong.
So naturally, as you awaken to knowing and being yourself at a deeper level, your identifications will change. It's natural to feel a mix of joy, peace and elation and sadness, grief and even depression. None of this is bad. It's not an indicator that something is wrong or has gone wrong, it's just what we often go through as we awaken in consciousness.
What if right now you could give yourself the choice to choose again? We have not be trained or taught to give ourselves the ability or permission to choose again, instead we've been taught to deal with the consequences of what we once chose. We've been taught to assess our choices and decide whether they were good and right or bad and wrong. When we declare them as bad and wrong we often will then feel blame (if we feel like someone else was responsible or made us choose that) or shame (if we feel like we're responsible for making a wrong choice), or regret (this emotional loop of deciding we shouldn't have done that, or should have known better, or should have been wiser), or guilt (as though if we feel bad enough about our choice we "won't make the same mistake again.").
It's time to wake up and give ourselves permission to choose again. The blame, shame, regret and guilt model is not working. The punishment and reward model isn't working, nor is the good and bad and right and wrong analysis working. What if right now you could bring your energy, presence and attention to the moment you're in, the moment of now, the moment of choice? What would it be like to give yourself permission to choose again? What if right now you can receive the awareness from every choice you've ever made? What if you can invite and allow this new awareness or expanded perspective to inform your choices now?
Take a deep breath, hand over what you've inherited back to wherever it came from, declare your choice to live and be here. Give yourself permission to know what's true for you. Give yourself permission to receive love and support. This has nothing to do with deserving (the worthy/not worthy template, or the good enough/not good enough model). This is all about acknowledgment of Being, acknowledgement of you, and choosing to know you. You can call in something different, something greater, to inform your choices. You can know yourself at a wider level, beyond the conditions, beyond the imprints and beyond the inherited beliefs. Is now the time to have the choice to choose again? Place your focus and attention on what you love, what you desire to have, who you desire to be and what you know is possible and commit to creating that. Ask for all of you to show up to support the actualization of your desires, whatever it looks like, whatever it takes. Let the fun, exploration, curiosity and play of un-scripted living inspire new action and bless your life with new choices. May you wake up to the joy, the play and the adventure of this life and enjoy the gift of you in all ways!