A common scenario that plays out is where we've been taught to base our thoughts and feelings on circumstances. We've learned to feel good when things go well and bad when things go wrong. But again, these responses aren't based on the experiences themselves, they are based on what we've made them mean, and how we've been taught to judge and evaluate things. Whatever it was for you that led to you handing over your choice to someone or something else to dictate, control or manipulate how you think and feel is now the time to take your power back? If this doesn’t apply to you, excellent, may this be a moment to celebrate you and your choices.
What if we all had the choice to think and feel how we truly think and feel, and it wasn't dictated or determined by someone or something else? When we move into this space of sovereignty, and we are in the presence of someone who thinks and feels differently than we do, we have the choice to change how we think and feel. In other words, we can contribute to each other, inspire each other, and be gifts in each other’s lives, however, we will no longer try to control each other or try to make people feel or think differently. We can give up control in favor of choice, and in that shift, this space of emotional safety opens up. We feel safe around the people who aren’t trying to control how we think and feel. Our bodies can relax, peace can wash over us, and our breath can deepen.
When we get around people who want us to think and feel differently than we do we may feel pressure, or heaviness, or tension, or resistance. This can lead to not wanting to be around that person, without having a clear reason why. One thing that came up for me recently, is I noticed I would feel heavy and this need to shut down and protect myself when I was around this person in my life. It was confusing to my conscious mind as to why I felt this way. This person is nice, and kind, and upbeat and enthusiastic. Yesterday I received a new awareness about this that assisted me so much. I realized that she wanted me to feel excited, she wanted me to feel happy, and she wanted me to feel inspired. On the surface of things that seems like a nice thing to do, to want people to feel good. However, I realized that she wasn’t allowing me to think and feel how I was thinking and feeling and I wasn't allowing myself to have ease thinking and feeling differently than she wanted me to. I was in resistance to her desire for me, rather than being in allowance of it. I became aware of another possibility too, that if she chose to feel excited, happy and inspired for herself and her own life, I could choice to meet her there, in the excitement, the happiness, and the inspiration.
What if the greatest gift you can give someone is choice? If you show up and be how you are, people around you can choose to meet you there. If how you think and feel isn’t dependant on others, you have more freedom and they have more freedom. Emotional co-dependency, or only getting to feel good if and when people around you feel good, keeps you from the joy of living and it keeps you attempting to control people around you to get them to think and feel differently. This is not loving, or honoring, or kind, regardless of how it appears. On the surface, the control isn’t often seen or acknowledged, and especially if they desire something good and positive for you, you become the problem if you’re not allowing them to control you into feeling better. In that case, you would be feeling better for them, or so they can feel good, or so they can feel powerful or influential or capable. This has to stop, if we truly desire to love and support each other to step into our greatness and love living. I’ve been there and done that, in the sense of trying to get the people around me to feel better so that I didn’t have to be aware of their pain. It’s an innocent choice, however, when we wake up to the reality that we are in fact trying to control others, then we have the opportunity to choose again. When we re-claim our feeling body, and re-claim the choice to think and feel how we think and feel and give other people that same choice, it becomes easier to let go of the co-dependency, hyper-sensitivity and energetic entanglements that keeps us living at the effect of others, or being impacted by other’s pain. We can be responsive to other people’s pain, and offer love, support and caring for them, however, when we try to alleviate their pain so we can feel better that is controlling and dishonoring them and their choice to be in pain.
May we re-claim our feeling body and activate new talents and abilities to support greater possibilities existing here. By our choice to feel good, feel empowered, and feel loved, safe and supported, the people around us have the choice to feel that too. Our presence assists others to access it. As we take off the controls, we have more freedom to be, and in that freedom how much ease and joy can we welcome in? If you would like assistance with this process get in touch for a session, or a session series, to tune into you, give yourself and other people choice, re-claim your ability to know how you truly think and feel and have the freedom to continue to choose that or change it based on your choice.