Is it easy for you to give support? Is it easy for you to receive support? When I say the phrase: I have the support I need or I feel supported in my life, does that feel true for you? Not only do I desire for all of these questions and statements to be a yes for me, I also desire to live in a world where this is an of course. I desire to live in a world where we can give, receive and have support on all four levels of our being: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. What would the world be like if we all felt capable of giving, receiving and having what nourishes our body, heart and soul? What contribution can I be to ushering that in as a reality for more people?
Support can be in so many forms: money, love, attention, and help just to name a few. There have been so many conditions placed on these forms, by ourselves and others. It has also been tied into control, punishment and reward, and manipulation. There are also many possible imprints on our emotional bodies of times of being let down, where something was given and then taken away (loss), or where something was only given under certain circumstances, such as when were good or did something right. We may feel blocked in our expression or unable to give or we may doubt that we will have our needs met or receive what we desire to have. The question becomes: what would it be like to go beyond this? What would it be like to welcome in new experiences and possibilities?
Where things get tricky is when we consistently do not have opportunities to give support or we consistently do not have or receive what we need and desire to nourish and support us. Under these circumstances we develop coping strategies. At some level we give up on the possibility or availability of it, carry the weight of that disappointment and let down and learn to be okay with not having. We shift into an endurance and perseverance strategy of finding ways to make do, a shutting down and becoming hyper independent strategy (professing that we don't need anyone or anything), or a totally dependent please help me collapsed strategy. None of these strategies feel good, although in the eyes of others certain strategies are more praised or shamed.
So, how do we re-claim our ability, trust, and desire to give, receive and have support in all forms that nourish and honour us, our bodies and our life? What would it be like to lower any barriers we have to welcoming new possibilities into our lives, something greater than we have ever had before now? I know for me it can be quite intense, especially over these past few years, to receive what I desire and lay down my coping strategies. I remember the first time when someone offered me love and attention without conditions it was irritating. My mind would activate and have thoughts such as: what do you want? Why are you looking at me like that? Someone was offering me more love and attention than I was comfortable with and it didn't have a bunch of conditions on it or things they wanted in return. I remember when people started showing up in my life who could offer genuine love and support and it "threated" my belief that people couldn't help me.
The defenses can be strong. When a belief is really ingrained our subconscious can fight to maintain it. Giving up on your need to be right and welcoming the willingness to be wrong is one thing that can help a lot. I also recommend learning how to breath deeply and gain the tools to become present and aware of what's going on so your not blind-sighted by it! If you would like to have more ease giving, receiving and/or having the support you desire to have in your life I'd be happy to assist you. Together we can clear the pathways, become aware of and lay down the burdens and the hurts of times past, so that you have space to receive the love and blessings available for you now.