I recorded a meditation today called Strengthening Your Light. If you've ever been stuck with an unquestioned need to be strong or a fear of being weak or an unwillingness to be seen as weak, and are feeling ready to step beyond that, listen in. We can be beyond strong or weak and both strong and weak and neither strong nor weak. As we are more free from these fixed or stuck places, we can express from who we are, as we are now, with more ease. If this subject matter interests you, you can also read my blog Beyond Strong or Weak. And if you have being strong tied in with success or being weak tied in with failure you can read my blog entitled Beyond Success or Failure.
Lately through my sessions, classes, online meditations and blogs I've been exploring how many of us are ready to graduate from fear based learning and step fully into a new classroom, a love based learning classroom. In this blog I want to explore a few indicators that you're ready to graduate from the fear based learning classroom.
First off, one of the hallmarks of readiness is the acknowledgment that we're not learning. The whole point of being in a classroom is to learn and grow and develop. If we are not learning, it's an indicator that we require something different. The teaching style of fear based learning can be very hard on us. Our nervous systems can collapse over time. The level of fear or threat of negative emotional consequence and the pressure, force, and aggression to get on with things, "learn" and drive yourself to the rewards can be super taxing mentally, emotionally, physically, psychically, spiritually and financially. At some point we may end up drained, confused, frustrated and shut down. We just can't do it and can feel like such a failure, like we've let our teachers down. And they will be disappointed in us. We're not meeting the expectations. We're not making them proud. We're not making things happen and swimming in the rewards that would reflect well on the teacher's amazing abilities to help, guide and mentor that they believe themselves to have. The mental, emotional and physical effects of perceived failure and ineptitude can erode our self-esteem, crush our confidence and fill us with self-hate and deep shame. And, in this condition we can't even remember what the lessons were that we are meant to learn! And if we do have a vague sense of them we're too exhausted to muster up the energy to care and often just give up on our ability to learn anything.
Fortunately, there is something deep within us that knows that it doesn't have to be this way. And, if you're reading this, it means that you know that and have been asking for something different. It can be such a relief and a big step when we realize that WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO SUCCEED IN THE FEAR BASED CLASSROOM. And that our failure to "make it" or to control and manipulate ourselves into being what the teachers wanted us to be, was BY DESIGN. The pain and hurt wasn't by design or meant to be, however, our progression into knowing that there is something beyond the fear based classroom was. And now is the time, for anyone reading this to know that graduation is available and the love based learning classroom is ready for you to step into.
In this love based classroom the frequency of love is. Love is NOT a reward. It's a frequency required for our heart, body and mind to function properly. In this classroom learning, growth and getting to know yourself and what you're here to be and do in the world is in the curriculum, so to speak. And your teachers, tutors, guides and mentors are here to support you in that, in whatever ways you uniquely require it. Just know, it make take some time to transition from the fear based classroom, in terms of fully letting go of agreements with your teachers there, or in healing any wounding or anger you carry from that experience. Those can be addressed by these teachers, tutors, guides and mentors. With your permission and request they can help you to heal from that and rebuild your strength, self-value, self-love etc. And if you would like support from me to step onto that path with clarity and the capacity to navigate the terrain please get in touch with me for a session or series of sessions. At the bottom of this blog I'm including a brief introduction to Love Based Learning. Following that introduction I gave to a group of people online, I offered a meditation/initiation to support people to step into the Love Based Classroom. If you would like to purchase that audio ($15 CAN), get in touch with me via my session page and request it. Just say "I would like to purchase the Love Based Learning Initiation" and provide your email address and I'll be in touch. If you would like more on this subject you can read my blog, Why You Don't Deserve Love. In that blog there are links to many others. And, there will be much more to come.
Last week I facilitated an online class called Exploring Themes for 2019. The themes that emerged for the group were:
1. Activating new pathways of communication, including greater telepathy, direct knowing, communication without distortion and ease of hearing and receiving awareness of what's being expressed.
2. Navigating What's Here - really stepping into acknowledgment of where we are and accessing new capacities to respond with precision and mastery.
3. Clearing the Way - addressing past wounding that's showing up in now moments to be addressed.
4. Leading with Presence - noticing anywhere we've been driven by our questions or the need to provide answers, and instead choosing to breathe deeply, direct our presence and attention in and through our hearts, bodies and minds and hold any questions or answers that we have lightly.
5. Exploring What Is - truly receiving and perceiving what is and diving into it, allowing greater depth, richness and beauty to be revealed.
Without the full 2 hrs of exploration, the themes may sound a little vague. I did want to note them, as they may be explorations that become more and more relevant and illuminated as we move through the year. What I did want to include here is the opening meditation from the class. It's an invitation to step into a space of curiosity and wonder with regards to what is here and possible now.
I recorded a series of four audios that I posted on youtube in a video format. The audios serve as a reminder of our choice and capacity to ask for and receive different energies, frequencies, tones, qualities or resonances that we have a tendency to forget, if we aren't in environments where the majority of people are choosing to embody them. So, #1 is about Peace and Calm, #2 is about Joy and Exuberance, #3 is about Orgasmic Energy and Play and #4 is about Curiosity and Wonder. All of these frequencies or qualities are available to access within the total Self. They are not energies that come from some outside source, nor are they bound to the punishment/rewards system, they are available via your choice to ask and put your presence and attention on them.
It does assist to be in a field of energy where "others" are embodying them, as our subtle bodies register the presence of the energy and go "oh yeah, this...", hence my choice to present these audios, to support you to have more ease being aware of the various energies that you can access from within. The analogy for this is, if you haven't heard a song in a long time that you once knew the lyrics to, you may think you don't remember them, however, as soon as you hear the song again it all comes back to you. This is an invitation to remember what you know.
The way I see it, there are two dominate modes of learning on the planet, which I'll name as fear based learning and love based learning. In fear based learning love is a reward. If you're good, right and do enough you will be rewarded with love. The source of motivation that drives actions is the feeling or "truth" of being not enough, or not worthy until you do enough and prove yourself worthy or deserving. If you actually got the reward of love you'd stop learning. There would be no motivation, nothing to go for, no point to do anything. You could just put your feet up and rest. However, "there's no rest for the wicked," because according to the fear based system you are inherently bad and wrong and so you must continuously overcome this with acts of service, goodwill to others, and being an important part of society. The drive is to measure up, be better, improve, and meet expectations, while avoiding punishments such as feeling shame, totally worthless, pathetic, weak, a failure and so on.
There are some people who can succeed in the fear based learning model. They can control themselves in a way that keeps them doing the right thing, according to those around them, and apologizing anytime they don't measure up and immediately promising that they will try harder and do better next time. They are rewarded for their efforts and are given praise, acknowledgment and a sense of being accepted by or belonging with those around them. Other people fail to "learn" in this model. Instead they end up in this sea of disappointment and continual confusion, feeling totally wrong and oscillating between feeling sadness or deep grief and anger or rage. It's either, I'm totally wrong and pathetic and can't do this (beliefs leading to being overcome with sadness and grief) or the system or other people are the problem and I'm so angry that they aren't doing something to make this better or possible for me (feeling stifled, shut down, unable to express, lacking support, feeling like no one cares or no one is there to help regardless of how desperate you are).
Eventually we will seek for a new way, or cry out to God for help, or collapse from total exhaustion, or have a breakdown, or just know deep down that it doesn't have to be this way and demand to change the conditions. The way I see it, in these moments, or dark nights, we are working our way towards the graduation from fear based learning and the initiation into love based learning. This is a model where love is neither given nor taken away, it just is. You are loved, and progressively realize yourself as love. From this base of love, learning and growth is generated from a sense of exploration and curiosity. You desire to know yourself and others more deeply and discover what you most enjoy to be and do in the world. There will be certain things that you observe and witness in the world and within yourself that you know can be different. There is another way, or a different way, that is improvement or evolution from what currently is. You will not be "loved more," based on your actions, because you are already fully and completely loved. Instead, you follow your impulses or inspirations and experience your full range of sensations, feelings and ways of being and witness where that leads you. There may be times when you desire to go within and explore your inner world, or that of others (the depth, the richness, the vast expanse of what it is to be an incarnate being, to be here in this life at this time), or you may desire to do something in this world that can be seen and witnessed by others, a physical actualization of the possibilities that you are aware of.
So, have you graduated or are you close to graduating from the fear based learning model? Are you ready to explore learning from love? What would be like? This is potentially foreign to many of us here, as the punishment reward system has been in place for so long which is based on fundamental assumptions that either have never been true, or once were true and are not now....that we are inherently bad and would do harm if we weren't manipulated, dominated and controlled in "positive" ways with the promise of rewards if we stay in line and do good things (preventing our "true nature" from taking over).
To build on the title, you will never deserve love because love is not a reward, and you are love and can learn and grow from love as your base (when you realize yourself as such, and initiate yourself on this path of learning and growth). It can be a big task to make this shift. It can feel monuments, impossible or too much to ask, to consider the possibility of clearing and releasing all shame, blame, regret, guilt, anger, rage, fury and hate, but it is possible. The initial wound of being separated from love "in the beginning" is what spurred all these other effects. We are here and now is the time, to initiate ourselves into love based learning. If you would like to read some of my other blogs on the subject you can check out Love is Not a Reward, Beyond Worthy and Deserving, It's Time to Take the Pressure Off, Being Completely Resourced and Learning Lessons from Love. And if would like to receive some loving support to assist you to claim and know who you are, what if feels like and is like to know yourself as love and act from this base, please get in touch. I offer relationship coaching and personal mentoring to assist people to have this. It's here. The time is now.
On another note, I recorded a meditation a short while ago called "Acknowledging You in Times of Change". You're welcome to listen in if you're so inspired.
Would you like to claim, know and act on your true authentic desires? This is an invitation to become aware of anywhere you're desires have been clouded or tainted by the influence of the punishment and reward system. Instead of having your true desires born from within, that which benefits your learning, growth and evolution to knowing and being more of who you are, you may have adopted desires from the environment you grew up in that other's judged as good or led you towards social conditioned rewards, and suppressed or rejected any desires you intrinsically held that we're deemed bad or negative or led to you being punished.
What if right now you could re-claim, own, acknowledge and allow your true desires to re-emerge and be known to you. If there were no rewards and no punishments, what would you desire? What exploration or journey is authentically yours and what would it be like to deeply know and trust what arises as you ponder that question? Take a deep breath, and acknowledge any negative associations you have with positive desires, or any positive associations you have with negative desires. That's where we can lose sight of what's true for us, when we form these associations. Such as when I love myself I am rejected by others (positive desire with negative association) or when I hide what's most important to me I am accepted by others (negative desire with positive association). For a description of a technique to change your associations you can read my blog, What is True Caring?
So, in this moment of now, ask from within for your true authentic desires to be revealed to you, and as you come to know them, ask what it would take for them to be fulfilled! What would it be like to have your desires fulfilled? As the effects of the punishment/reward systems are cleared, as well as positive and negative associations, you can welcome in more clarity of knowing what is true for you, ultimately allowing for a greater flow and ease of life and living. If you would like assistance to get in touch with what you desire, or to clear or release any inauthentic desires you've become attached to having, please get in touch. How much more can we powerfully, easily and joyfully step into what's true for us and take action that bring true fulfillment? Is now the time?
Is now the time to truly know the gift of your presence? I have an online class tomorrow with this theme, and yesterday recorded a meditation that I've included here. How much more can you receive the gift of you? What would it be like to embody the truth of you more deeply? What else can you acknowledge about you, and what is now the time to express?
The punishment reward system was designed to maintain order in a social group. If you're good according to the rules, regulations and ways of doing things you deserve rewards. If you're bad according to the group mores and moralities etc. you deserve to be punished. Rewards are often about what you're given that is desired, such as resources, love, attention, praise, support, belonging, affection and so on. Punishments are often about what is taken away or withheld from you when you're bad or do something wrong. These include things like lack of love, condemnation, shame, guilt, isolation, abandonment, rejection, being shut out of the group, not belonging, or not getting what you want or need. Although this system can be "effective" at maintaining order, it is super painful and harsh and unkind and really leaves the majority of us feeling not good enough, unworthy, full of shame, and in fear, terror or unending grief.
One of the greatest challenges of this particular system is that we don't live in an environment where the collective agreements are consistent. In other words, we are not given the same rule book. Every family is different. In one family you could be punished and condemned for something that in another family you could be rewarded and loved for. So, we end up super confused thinking things like "what's wrong with me?" "Why can't I figure this out?" "What am I missing?" If this is you, my sense is that you've outgrown the punishment rewards system. In other words, if it's not working for you to motivate right action, or inspire you to be great and contribute your gifts to the social group then it's time to be or do something different.
So, a potential starting place is to acknowledge: I am here. I exist. I am living. What do I require and desire to have in my life? What do I desire to give? What would I like to receive? What do I value? What do I appreciate? If I could choose anything what would it be? Essentially you begin an exploration of who you are, what you value or what's true for you, and what it would be like to generate and create your life from this starting point. You don't have to have all the answers, instead you just begin. If you feel like you don't know you could ask things of the broader universe that you are a part of like: universe, show me something beautiful today. Universe, what can I be and do that I've never been and done that would contribute to the joy of living? Start with curiosity and expand from there. I've included a meditation here to listen to when you feel ready to free yourself from the punishment reward system. And if you're interested in more you can check out my blogs: Love is not a Reward, Learning Lessons from Love, It's Time to Take the Pressure Off and Beyond Worthy and Deserving. And if you would like support to release the remnants being controlled by that system such as feeling not good enough, full of shame, guilty, unworthy, not deserving of anything good, etc. please get in touch! All of this can change, and incredible freedom is available when you say yes to having it.
We've often been taught to fight for change, or push through fear, or make things happen. We often were not taught to ask for, receive, embrace, allow and invite in the beauty, the peace and the change we'd like to see in the world. What if now we can know what it would be like to ask, receive, embrace and allow? I lead a meditation called Waves of Peace that I wanted to share here. A group of us gathered on Nov 11th, which was Remembrance Day. I played with that energy a little bit, as you may hear near the end of the meditation.
What if now we can access energies that may not have been valued, wanted, needed or desired by others?...We can choose to be the gentleness, the kindness, the peace, the calm, the innocence, the gifts and the space of possibility. We don't have to fight to maintain the identities we built to keep us safe when we lived in a world of fear. What is different now? What if it was different for you now? If it was, what would you choose to ask for and receive?
This week I did an in person and online version of a class I entitled “Trusting You to Create Your Life.” A few themes came forward both nights that I wanted to share in this format too. One is that of committing to building trust from where you are. Often we get caught believing that we “should” trust, or it’s right to trust ourselves and other people or we keep looping back to an earlier time in our life to figure out what went wrong, or where we lost this trust that we should supposedly have developed.
One of the things that prevents us from building trust in ourselves is not knowing ourselves, or where we learned to cope with life by emphasizing the aspects of our being that others liked or accepted and denying, suppressing, rejecting or disowning aspects of ourselves that other people didn’t like. Those aspects that we “hid” from ourselves are now unknown to us, and it is harder to trust what is unknown to us. People have attempted to get us there by saying things like “just trust” or “have faith”, however that is often not enough to truly address what’s going on. If we knew all that we are, would it be easier to trust all that we are? Yes! As we know all that we are we can receive the awareness of what the needs and desires are and update our means or methods of getting those needs met and desires fulfilled by tuning in to the field of possibilities now, rather than relying on associations made about ourselves, life, the world and other people at other times in our lives (what they could or couldn’t give us, whether they could meet the needs or fulfill the desires that are relationship based etc.).
So, one of the ways to build trust from within is to look for anywhere we’ve separated out aspects of ourselves based on value judgments imposed by other people. I lead a meditation earlier this year called “Strengthening Trust in Life” which I’ll include at the bottom of the blog. In that I speak to some of the separations between the mind, heart, body and spirit and what it would be like to unify them again, or have all that we are working together to benefit the totality of the embodiment. If every aspect of us chose what honored the totality of our embodiment, how much more could we trust ourselves to create our life? Ponder that, and get curious about what is possible now. If you would like some support via a one on one session please get in touch for a session. And as mentioned, here is the meditation:
Christine assists people to be with themselves fully, releasing anything that prevents them from being resourced from within. She invites love and wisdom to be accessed through the body, heart and mind to restore the capacity to gift and receive what truly nourishes all that you are. She brings harmony, coherence, and gentleness and provides a space and frequency that calls forward your greatness and inspires you to engage with life in new ways. She contributes to you knowing who you are and being that in the world, creating miracles everywhere you go for the fun and joy of it.