As I named in my last blog, when we've experienced incoming or outgoing boundary violation without remedy or resolution we end up in a compromised posture or position. We lose sight of our integrity and either take on the posture of being wounded and withdrawn or aggressive. When we are in our natural state of integrity we have the capacity to assess or perceive what is. In other words, we are capable of acknowledging what we are thinking and feeling, and what's going on in the environment around us. When we're in a compromised state it is more and more difficult to do this so we end up having to rely on assumptions about ourselves, others, the environment and the world. The more wounded or aggressive, the more likely we are to deliver accusations based on assumptions.
Once we can see the dynamics at play, in terms of the relationship between assessments, assumptions and accusations, it can serve to encourage us to restore our natural integrity, so that we are more available for life itself, and more capable of dismantling assumptions based on patterns of wounding, that bear little resemblance to truth. I recorded a video today exploring this a little more. Here it is if you'd like to watch it:
When we’ve experienced incoming or outgoing boundary violations we fall out of touch with our natural integrity. An incoming boundary violation is when something we don't want to have happen happens and we have no say or choice in the matter. An outgoing violation is when something we need or value that is readily available to us is all of a sudden withdrawn or taken away without notice or without our say in the matter. If there was no resolution to these experiences, if we were just left in a state of confusion, shock or disbelief with no support to understand what happened and process through the physiological, emotional and mental aspects of it, then we often end up finding a way to cope that reduces our quality of life. Two common postures we take on are either being withdrawn and wounded, shut down and unavailable or being aggressive and angry, forcing or pushing our perspectives or stance onto others.
I recorded a video today, which introduces this subject matter and briefly articulates what can happen if we don’t acknowledge that we’ve lost sight of our integrity and are in a position of being wounded or aggressive. Being oriented in our natural integrity makes it possible for us to have situational awareness, receive information from our environment moment by moment, and thus respond in ways that are in alignment with what’s actually happening. If you notice that your response patterns don't match what's happening in your current environment, or you're having a hard time assessing what's happening and how to respond it may be beneficial to take stock of whether you've lost sight of this natural way of being, or if it has never been given the chance to be fully established in you. As our natural way of being is re-established or as we are restored to natural functioning, it's amazing how much that can support us to be physiologically balanced, psychologically at ease, emotionally responsive to our current conditions and spiritually available to see our place in the greater context of life. If you would one on one support to restore your integrity and/or address any patterns of wounding or aggression please get in touch through my session page.
Here is the video if you'd like to watch it:
Christine helps people to approach life with greater care, love & wisdom. offering presence and a unique quality of attention she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on. With all of the different tools and methods she has access to, she inspires, encourages and supports people to really love and honour themselves, and thus be more able to love and honour others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!