Do you enjoy giving people support?  Do you enjoy receiving support from other people?  Often the enjoyment of either of these is dependent on the meaning that is associated with support.  For me receiving support used to be very difficult because the underlying meaning was that I couldn't do it by myself and there was something wrong with that, and it meant that I was incompetent, not capable or weak.  This would sometimes keep me from giving support because I didn't want to make other people feel that way.  It's a gift to become aware of these meanings and associations that we've assigned to things, so that we can update them, give our experience new meaning, and be able to receive what people desire to give to us and give support from a place of love and appreciation.

​There's this term in Access Consciousness called SHICUUUU which stands for secret, hidden, invisible, covert, unseen, unsaid, unacknowledged and undisclosed.  Often what happens is that on the surface we think something should feel good, like someone gives us a gift, or is there to support us with something, or offers us love and attention, and for some reason it doesn't feel good, or we feel angry, irritated, or resistant.  If you are having a moment of thinking this should feel good, why doesn't it?  Take a look at this SHICUUUU stuff, it can bring you tremendous freedom!  For instance, I had someone in my life who when he would offer support would give me the message (mostly unspoken) that I should be able to support myself in this way, but because I couldn't he was willing to step in.  So alongside the offering of support was this invalidation and lack of acceptance of where I was and/or who I was.  For a long time I wasn't able to see this, and was always confused why I felt bad when I received support.  I assumed, what many of us do, that it was because I "had a hard time receiving," which wasn't really the case.  The reality was that I had a hard time feeling invalidated and not accepted. When I acknowledged that, there was this sense of relief and it gave me the choice to provide myself with the validation and appreciation that I didn't receive from that person, and freed up my ability to give and receive support.

​So, when giving support, take a moment to pay attention to anything SHICUUUU that goes along with it.  For those of us who are energetically aware it won't feel good when it's out of alignment with love and appreciation.  Also, when you are receiving support and it doesn't feel good, ask: is there something SHICUUUU here for me to be aware of?  It's okay if there is something there.  It's not about being perfect, or getting it right, it's about awareness and often the moment we get to what's true everything lightens up. 

​One thing to keep in mind is that often we invite people into our lives to assist us to unravel or let go of these meanings and associations we've attached to giving and receiving and this process isn't always comfortable!  For instance, when I first started inviting people into my life who could offer love and attention when I was "emotional", it was highly uncomfortable.  I found it irritating that they wanted to be there for me.  What was happening was that their presence and willingness to be there was unravelling my previous experiences of people trying to get me to stop feeling by offering statements such as "you're ok, you're fine, get over it, it's not that big of a deal."  My previous way of handing emotions was to explain them away using logic, reason and justification.  The invitation I was being provided with was to process emotions differently.  Making that shift was uncomfortable and beautiful all at the same time.  In saying all of this, the invitation is to notice who and what is showing up in your life now.  Welcome in the support from those who are here to assist you to unravel and let go of previous meanings and associations that keep you from the fulfilling, joyful life experience you desire to have.  Welcome in opportunities to provide other people with genuine support.  When things don't feel good, when you're giving or receiving, ask: is there something SHICUUU for me to be aware of?  May we all give and receive the support, love and appreciation we desire to have!  If you would like support to become more aware of what is SHICUUUU, it's one of my specialties.  Please get in touch to set up your free 20 minute consultation.          

​

For years I resented my degrees because I didn't feel like they prepared me for the world of work.  I had grown up with belief that if I did the right thing, got A's, and continued on to do degrees then everything after that would work itself out.  An amazing question a facilitator asked me the other day is: "Did you expect your degrees to create your life for you?"  And my answer was yes.  Yay for that awareness!  Now I feel more capable of choosing to create my life rather than waiting for someone or something else to create it for me. 

Lately I've been acknowledging a resistance in me to being controlled.  I don't like someone else telling me what to do, or dictating my choices.  Today I had the awareness that I actually enjoyed functioning within a structure that was "controlled".  In academia I knew where I was going and what I was doing, I had a course outline, specifically defined goals and the means to achieve them through focus and commitment.  What created the experience of tremendous pain and grief was when that structure was "taken away from me" and no one was there to assist me to make that transition and guide me on how to move forward.  What I acknowledged today is that I don't actually resist being controlled, guided, or told what to do, I just had something in my energetic system that was protecting me from the loss of that.  The decision was that I could not live through that experience of being coached, guided and directed and then having that being taken away from me "again".  As an adaptive strategy to avoid that experience, I created safety through just living in the present moment and having no coach, no guide and no direction.  Not having it was safer and easier than having it be there and then be taken away.  On the surface though, I desired to be directed, goal oriented and moving towards something and it was painful and confusing why it was so hard to do so. 

​What in your life are you refusing to have because you've decided you can handle it being given to you and then taken away?  What I'm being present with today, is that I do have the tools to be with that experience.  I can be present to receive what is given, and I have the tools and capacity to feel whatever comes up if/when something is "taken away" or "leaves" my experience.  With this new awareness I'm able to unravel this energetic pattern that keeps me from having direction, being guided, moving towards goals and enjoying structure.  I share this with you today as an opportunity for you to potentially become aware of what's keeping you from having what you desire to have, moving towards new experience, and receiving the tools so that you have the capacity to feel and be present to your experience so you aren't stuck in resistance and avoidance.  What if now is the time to receive the gift of new awareness and be willing and able to change and transform what we haven't been willing or able to before now?