Do you enjoy giving people support? Do you enjoy receiving support from other people? Often the enjoyment of either of these is dependent on the meaning that is associated with support. For me receiving support used to be very difficult because the underlying meaning was that I couldn't do it by myself and there was something wrong with that, and it meant that I was incompetent, not capable or weak. This would sometimes keep me from giving support because I didn't want to make other people feel that way. It's a gift to become aware of these meanings and associations that we've assigned to things, so that we can update them, give our experience new meaning, and be able to receive what people desire to give to us and give support from a place of love and appreciation.
There's this term in Access Consciousness called SHICUUUU which stands for secret, hidden, invisible, covert, unseen, unsaid, unacknowledged and undisclosed. Often what happens is that on the surface we think something should feel good, like someone gives us a gift, or is there to support us with something, or offers us love and attention, and for some reason it doesn't feel good, or we feel angry, irritated, or resistant. If you are having a moment of thinking this should feel good, why doesn't it? Take a look at this SHICUUUU stuff, it can bring you tremendous freedom! For instance, I had someone in my life who when he would offer support would give me the message (mostly unspoken) that I should be able to support myself in this way, but because I couldn't he was willing to step in. So alongside the offering of support was this invalidation and lack of acceptance of where I was and/or who I was. For a long time I wasn't able to see this, and was always confused why I felt bad when I received support. I assumed, what many of us do, that it was because I "had a hard time receiving," which wasn't really the case. The reality was that I had a hard time feeling invalidated and not accepted. When I acknowledged that, there was this sense of relief and it gave me the choice to provide myself with the validation and appreciation that I didn't receive from that person, and freed up my ability to give and receive support.
So, when giving support, take a moment to pay attention to anything SHICUUUU that goes along with it. For those of us who are energetically aware it won't feel good when it's out of alignment with love and appreciation. Also, when you are receiving support and it doesn't feel good, ask: is there something SHICUUUU here for me to be aware of? It's okay if there is something there. It's not about being perfect, or getting it right, it's about awareness and often the moment we get to what's true everything lightens up.
One thing to keep in mind is that often we invite people into our lives to assist us to unravel or let go of these meanings and associations we've attached to giving and receiving and this process isn't always comfortable! For instance, when I first started inviting people into my life who could offer love and attention when I was "emotional", it was highly uncomfortable. I found it irritating that they wanted to be there for me. What was happening was that their presence and willingness to be there was unravelling my previous experiences of people trying to get me to stop feeling by offering statements such as "you're ok, you're fine, get over it, it's not that big of a deal." My previous way of handing emotions was to explain them away using logic, reason and justification. The invitation I was being provided with was to process emotions differently. Making that shift was uncomfortable and beautiful all at the same time. In saying all of this, the invitation is to notice who and what is showing up in your life now. Welcome in the support from those who are here to assist you to unravel and let go of previous meanings and associations that keep you from the fulfilling, joyful life experience you desire to have. Welcome in opportunities to provide other people with genuine support. When things don't feel good, when you're giving or receiving, ask: is there something SHICUUU for me to be aware of? May we all give and receive the support, love and appreciation we desire to have! If you would like support to become more aware of what is SHICUUUU, it's one of my specialties. Please get in touch to set up your free 20 minute consultation.