welcoming healing experiences

What would be a healing experience for you?  A few possibilities are: being able to be or do something for yourself that you were previously unable to be or do, being or doing something with someone that was previously unavailable or inaccessible, or being or doing something for someone or having something done for you that you haven't yet been able to offer or receive.  In cultures that are more individualistic in nature there is often a lot of pressure or praise for what we can do by ourselves or for ourselves.  Having help can be associated with failing or being incapable or being incompetent.  This mindset would lead to a lot of emphasis on loving yourself, providing for yourself and being independent.  Those things would be associated with success.  Wounding would usually show up in the form of feeling not good enough, undeserving or unworthy of loving yourself, providing for yourself and being independent.  In other words something is missing or something is wrong with you if you can't do that.  For someone who carries values such as these, imagine how receptive he or she would be to having someone else provide for them and love them.  Imagine how they would feel about being dependent on others.

In cultures that are more collectivist in nature it would be more about the group, belonging and fitting in, being helpful, sacrificing yourself for the well-being of the collective, not being selfish or self-centered, and making others proud by your accomplishments and achievements.  The emphasis would be on thinking about others and doing things to benefit others or prove, show or demonstrate to them that you care more about them then yourself.  Wounding may show up in the form of being shamed for not doing the right thing, or shunned if you don't comply, or being cast out if you don't share the values or beliefs of the group, or being accused of being selfish and not caring enough or doing enough for other people.

Did you grow up in an environment that was more individualistic or collectivist in nature?  For many of us we grew up with influences from both, and for many of us our healing path is going beyond the either/or into the inclusion of elements that are in our best interest to include.  In this case, it is about the individual AND the collective.  It is about self-love AND loving and being loved by others.  It's about providing certain things for ourselves, providing certain things for others and having certain things provided for us.  It's about being dependent on certain people, places and things AND self-reliant, autonomous and independent in other respects.  In terms of welcoming healing experiences, we can invite that which is in our best interests to have done for us, what's in our best interests to be or do for ourselves and what's in our best interests to do with or for other people. 

Imagine what it would be like to step beyond individualistic or collectivist, beyond the individual or the collective.  If we don't acknowledge these different influences on our values, beliefs, perspectives and approach, we may prevent ourselves from inviting and moving towards the healing experiences that would enrich, inspire and support us and others.  Here are some questions that you can contemplate, that may help you to get in touch with potential healing experiences:

1. What would I most love to give, offer or provide to others or another?
2. What would I most love to receive and take in from others or another?
3. What would I most love to be or do for someone?  What would I love to be or do with someone?  What would I love to witness someone be or do for themselves?
4. What would I love for someone to be or do for me?  What would I love someone to be or do with me?  What would I love for someone to witness me be or do for myself?

Now is time when many of us are being called to develop inclusive attention, which goes beyond the either/or.  This allows us to attend to our best interests as a unique, autonomous individual AND as a part of the collective well-being.  This ultimately allows us to build a life in and through the field and frequency of love.  A few blogs that explore these subjects, that you can link to when you click on the titles are: Building Your Life, Inclusive Attention and Living Beyond Polarity.