Coming out of Denial

Denial to me is the scenario of pretending everything is okay when it isn't, or putting on a mask and portraying an image of how you would like to be seen that isn't congruent with how you really are, or what's really going on.  It's a coping mechanism that is taught.  It's a way of dealing with what you may not have had the tools, know how or skill set to look after in a different way.  What can be tricky is when you get so good at coping, dissociating or disconnecting, that when the support does show up to be with things differently, it can be hard to make the shift and embrace the assistance that is offered.
 
The coping mechanisms become part of the identity structure, so letting them go can feel like a loss of identity.  There's this fascinating stage of this "awakening" or becoming more conscious process, where when you're finally becoming who you are it feels like the loss of who you are.  When the identity starts to lose hold, as more of who you are grounds into the body, there can be this grief that emerges.  It can truly be grieving the loss of who you've known yourself to be, and letting go of what, regardless of how limited or stifling it is, is predictable or familiar.  It's like learning to cope with body pain, when the support comes along to assist the body to release the pain, there can be a time where the absence of that familiar pain feels like a loss of something, or like there is something missing.  Another thing that can occur is that so much of your time was spent managing the pain, and thinking about how uncomfortable it is, and what may have caused it, or what it means that it's there, and  whole relationships could have been established to look after you while you were in pain, that the relief, transformation and release of the underpinnings of the pain, and the pain itself, truly brings change that may not have been anticipated.  How do you spend your time now?  What do you think about?  What are your relationships based on?  What is the content of the conversations and the nature of the dynamics?
 
My invitation here is to begin considering what it will be like when something changes, and what may truly be keeping you from initiating that change.  When we come out of denial and become honest with ourselves and others about what's really going on, that's what true transformation begins.  That's when the gift of living is revealed.  That is when intimacy becomes possible.  Choose to bring people into your life that don't judge what you have previously hidden.  Allow them to unravel your judgments and assist you to acknowledge you, the essence of you, the beauty of you and the strength of you.  It is here, it is possible, if you choose it and ask for it it can show up, with more ease and grace than you may have ever thought could be.  If you would like assistance in being acknowledged for the strength of you, as you come out of denial and gain the skills and the tools to live differently, without the masks and pre-tense.  I am here for you.  Go to the contact me page to schedule your free 20min consultation.