Often we've been taught or trained to resist uncomfortable states and do what it takes to get rid of thoughts, feelings and emotions we've defined as negative or undesired. We've also been taught to see someone else who is thinking, feeling or behaving in a "negative way" as a threat to our state of mind or to the condition of our emotional body. These realities are the birthplace of the desire to give and receive advice. A lot of advice is about how to get rid of uncomfortable states, make your life better, not care what other people think, become successful, love yourself, become healthy, communicate better etc. It's claiming a direction, a direction that the one offering the advice decides is best for the other person.
In one situation the person receiving the advice will align and agree with what is offered. This will make the advice giver feel good. They may feel proud that they were helpful, or said something important, or made a difference. The person receiving may be grateful, appreciative and thankful for it and perhaps go to work on following the advice to the best of their ability. Sometimes it leads to true improvement, other times it leads to let down where either the advice giver watches the person over time and concludes that other person isn't following the advice or is going against it, or the receiver feels let down because they followed the advice and it didn't lead to the desired change or hoped for outcome.
In another scenario, when the advice being offered is out of tune with the person's needs or just not congruent with the space they're in, the advice is resisted, there may be a desire to rebel against it, or react to it. The voice of the rebel would be something along the lines of, "you're wrong, you don't know me, that doesn't make sense, why do you think you know what's best for me, you haven't even bothered to ask me where I'm at, you just jump in and provide the solution you think I need based on where you're at." In this scenario the advice is often offered from a place of the giver being uncomfortable with where the other is at, or wanting to say something that sounds good to prove that they're a helpful person, or to demonstrate their intelligence or understanding of a subject, or to display their mastery of an aspect of life that they've decided the other can benefit from. In other words, they don't take a moment to tune in and ask questions such as: Who am I offering this for? What is this person asking for right now? How can I be of benefit to them? What do they require of me? What do I require of them? There is no definitive answer to these questions, however they can serve to activate awareness and include both people fully in the experience, instead of it just being about one person or the other.
So, what else is possible here? How else can we be with each other that goes beyond the need to give or receive advice? Often we've been taught or trained to seek answers, as though that would solve what's going on in our lives and make it better. We hope someone will show up and deliver the advice that prompts us to change for the better and receive what we desire in life. I wonder how else we can approach all of this now, given that both of the above scenarios don't lead to true fulfillment or true acknowledgment of Being or desired change. How else can we each be loved and supported? What would contribute to us stepping into our greatness and being and receiving the gifts of embodiment? May we be blessed, loved, nurtured, nourished and supported in new ways that brings true fulfillment, honors our hearts and allows us to be met, seen and loved as and where we are now.
Christine helps people to navigate transitions with love and wisdom. offering presence and care she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on in life. With all of the different tools, methods and wisdom she has access to, she inspires, encourages and makes it possible for people to really love and honor themselves, and thus be more able to love and honor others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!