What can be confusing and frustrating to the person living it, is that when he/she states that intention or makes that declaration, what isn’t aligned with health tends to be amplified! Looking from a big picture, it makes sense in that things that were hidden have come to the surface to be addressed. If an unhealthy pattern is not in our awareness, we can’t do much to change it. However, when it’s right in our face and we have the courage and willingness to look at it, we can decide what to do in order to let go of it and/or replace it with something more useful. This isn’t something we have to do alone. There are many people out there who can support us in adopting new patterns, and getting to the root of the old patterns. Usually it’s a matter of giving ourselves permission to be uncomfortable and not need to know why know why something is happening (temporarily), to create space for new insights to come in. The faster we jump to conclusions and fixed points of view (i.e. this is happening because… and this is what it means about me), the less likely we are to be able to receive new information that could change our reality in a big way and help us live our values with greater ease.
As an example, I worked with a client who wanted to improve her health, through becoming more active. She had come to me because she just couldn’t get motivated and didn’t know why. She had concluded that the reason why she didn’t run more (even though she loved it and felt great as a result of doing it), was because of her problem with motivation. As we worked together, and asked what else could be going on (opened to receiving new information about it), she talked about how she really enjoyed spending time with her boyfriend, and many times in the evenings they would sit and watch a movie together and relax. That was the time in her day when she could have gone running, or called up a friend to do something active. What she came to realize was that it wasn’t so much about motivation, it was more about her having placed a priority on spending time in her relationship. As we explored the subject further she became aware of some fears that she had about losing the relationship if she devoted more time to other things. As we resolved those fears (by bringing them to light and understanding why they were there) she felt more free to choose on any given day, whether to spend time with her boyfriend or go for a run. So, sometimes when we state what we want to focus on, something else seems to show up and get in the way (i.e. no motivation). Know that this doesn’t mean that we are doing something wrong, or that what's happening is "bad," it just means that there’s something at the surface that is ready to be addressed (and by getting to the root of that very thing, we can free ourselves from the unhealthy pattern for good). May we all have access to the tools and resources that’ll help us become more aware, address what’s at the surface and thus feel free to choose how we want to spend our time, and express what we most value.