Many of us grew up in environments where the punishment/reward system and lack of love/presence of love were very much entwined. When you were bad or "deserved" punishment, the presence of love and attention was withdrawn and withheld. When you were good or "deserved" to be rewarded or praised, the presence of love and attention was given. Due to this conditioning, we believe that anytime we want to modify a behavior that we don't like or isn't serving us, we of necessity have to withdrawal and withhold love and attention from ourselves. Now, we are coming into a time where it is essential that we know the difference between love and behavioral modification tools. Love is a vibration. It's a quality of presence and attention. If we are to thrive, we require this vibration, presence and attention consistently. It is our life force, our very essence, that which sustains us in physical form. The challenge when we still have the old imprinting, is that we associate love with reward and praise. So when we feel love and receive that quality of attention and presence we believe we are good and right and there is nothing to change, or we "fear" that if we are loved now, we will accept all the things we believe are wrong about us and cease to continue to grow.
Love is not an energy of stagnation. As we fully acknowledge the difference between love and behavioral modification, we can love ourselves completely while choosing to modify our behaviors, or be or do something differently as we become aware of something greater. We know when it's time to change something. We naturally outgrow behavior patterns as we evolve and become more conscious. For a long time we may be unconscious of something we do, and progressively become aware of it, though don't know how to change it, and then gain the ability and "know how" to change it and are able to choose something different.
Another one of the carry-overs from the punishment/reward behavioral modification tool consistently being delivered at the same time as rejecting, separating from or refusing to love you or embracing, caring for, being gentle with and loving you is that they have been so energetically tied together for so long, it takes quite a bit of acknowledgment and awareness to untie them and see them as different things. When this does become possible, then it is infinitely easier to love you no matter what while modifying your behavior at any time. And as this consistent presence of love for and of you builds within, and there is less fear present, then it is much easier to change anything! All of a sudden what was previously so hard to change, or seemingly impossible to choose, now becomes easier to change and available to choose. So, what if now is the time to love you totally, or said differently, be you totally, and choose what contributes to you thriving and everything in your life being greater?