Often when we have been shamed, made wrong, or told to tone it down, and did shut down, we then secretly or overtly resent those were the cause of us making that choice. From there we either exclude people so that we're not met with judgment, or shaming when we are happy, or we go in the direction of becoming a bit aggressive with our "joy" trying to convert all those around us to it. What if we could all give ourselves permission to be where we are, and support each other to express joy, laughter, and exuberance and build some new positive associations with those energies.
I know I lived many years navigating by first scanning my environment to see how people were doing, and then deciding how I was going to show up. I didn't want to be too different, or too happy, or too excitable if it didn't match where the people around me were. I also didn't want to be sad, or "low", or bring anyone down with what have been labeled as negative emotions. The only time I felt like I could truly be myself was when I was on my own. Progressively I've given myself permission to be where I'm at when I'm around others. Some could name that as being authentic, or being myself. This allows for more intimacy in relationships, and more ease of being. What is your modus operandus in regards to all of this? What is the next step for you? Do you feel like you have placed a lot of controls on yourself, do you have a tendency to control others, or do you feel free and invite others to express freely? Do you feel loved, safe and supported as you are now? If you would like assistance with any of this please get in touch through the contact me page.