The fear based approach to make growth happen "or else" relies on using expectation to drive change and the need to be better or be greater or get your life together as necessary fuel in order to push you in the direction of being rewarded with what you want and not punished with the lack of it. The love based model is about acknowledging where you are, how you feel, what's going on in your experience and then allowing for and inviting the preference for growth, change, fulfillment, expansion, creative expression etc. to emerge through this loving field of Presence and acknowledgment of Being. The love based model is about listening, hearing, receiving, and allowing what's there to emerge, be seen, and be witnessed. If there is a desire to feel good or feel different, that desire is acknowledged and attention is placed on what it would take to have that, inclusive of where and how you are now. We don't have to reject where we are to choose something greater. Instead we can acknowledge where and how we are and ask for something greater.
Is it time for you to make the shift from fear and control based approaches to growth and change to love based approaches? What if it's easier than you think? One of the ways to do this is to just notice when expectation and pressure to change through force, coercion or control is there. When you do, acknowledge that that was something you learned how to do and that there is a new way available now, and choose to welcome this new possibility. Allow yourself to be aware of love based possibilities. Clear indicators of the presence of these is that there is a gentleness, an honoring, an energetic embrace, an acknowledgment of you, an energy of inclusion and an energy of harmlessness. It's the kind of energy where the walls of defense naturally come down. You don't have to fight to feel good anymore, you can just invite it, as you simultaneously give your attention to where and how you are now. Once again, you don't have to reject who, how or where you are to have something different. Include where you are as you welcome what's greater to emerge and actualize in your life. Now is the time.