Particularly over this last six months as I would watch a youtube video on psychology or spirituality or something of that sort, or read a book, or listen to a tele-call, this question started emerging...why am I doing this? Instead of being this joyful curious desire to learn more, it was more of a need. It wasn't like I even required the information per say (although it was easy to convince myself that that's what it was about), it was more like this pull, almost a minor addiction. Today I had a conversation with someone who said: now is the time to let go of being a good student. Tears welled up in my eyes and the sense of relief was palpable. Reflecting on my life as of late, as I would move more into my work in the world, facilitating, giving sessions, enjoying relationships, it always felt like there was something under the surface holding me back from the momentum I knew was possible and that there was something that was more important. What I can finally see now is that this role of being a good student was keeping me in this classroom of my own making, with this eternal need to learn more, never truly ready to go outside, share what I know now and get to love and support, and be loved and supported.
The theme today feels like dissolving the roles that hold me back or stop me from moving forward. In this example, I don't have to be a student in a classroom, or a spiritual student, or a student in an "Earth School" here to learn lessons. Today I give myself permission to graduate from that structure which has overtly or covertly dictated my life and my priorities for what feels like an eternity. I feel this space opening up, the freedom to be with people, evolve my work, express what I know and enjoy the journey. So for any of you, of whom the role of student is holding you back from the joy of living, what if now is the time to be set free?...to have desires, to live, to explore, to dream, to accomplish, and to have fun. I celebrate this time of graduation. I can now choose to watch a youtube video, listen to a call, or read a book, although now, it wont be so that I'm a good student who will one day be rewarded for my hard work, commitment, and dedication. Here is the poem I wrote today, assisting that aspect of me to release the reigns on my life, so that I may be free to pursue other dreams and aspirations.
Good Student
Good Student
Class has been dismissed
I noticed you have not left
There you sit
Staring at the front of the room
May I ask what you are doing?
The teacher has gone home
You have fulfilled your agreement
To show up and learn the lessons
that were given to you
You are free to go now
It appears that you are waiting for something,
or someone
To tell you where to go or what to do
The direction will no longer be imposed on you
It will be chosen by you
The creative impulse that was silenced,
in order to function efficiently within this structure
will re-emerge as you acknowledge it
and call it forward once again
You are free to dream, and create, and love
and care for people
You don't have to prioritize learning above all else
Life is calling you
It's your time to answer
The theme today feels like dissolving the roles that hold me back or stop me from moving forward. In this example, I don't have to be a student in a classroom, or a spiritual student, or a student in an "Earth School" here to learn lessons. Today I give myself permission to graduate from that structure which has overtly or covertly dictated my life and my priorities for what feels like an eternity. I feel this space opening up, the freedom to be with people, evolve my work, express what I know and enjoy the journey. So for any of you, of whom the role of student is holding you back from the joy of living, what if now is the time to be set free?...to have desires, to live, to explore, to dream, to accomplish, and to have fun. I celebrate this time of graduation. I can now choose to watch a youtube video, listen to a call, or read a book, although now, it wont be so that I'm a good student who will one day be rewarded for my hard work, commitment, and dedication. Here is the poem I wrote today, assisting that aspect of me to release the reigns on my life, so that I may be free to pursue other dreams and aspirations.
Good Student
Good Student
Class has been dismissed
I noticed you have not left
There you sit
Staring at the front of the room
May I ask what you are doing?
The teacher has gone home
You have fulfilled your agreement
To show up and learn the lessons
that were given to you
You are free to go now
It appears that you are waiting for something,
or someone
To tell you where to go or what to do
The direction will no longer be imposed on you
It will be chosen by you
The creative impulse that was silenced,
in order to function efficiently within this structure
will re-emerge as you acknowledge it
and call it forward once again
You are free to dream, and create, and love
and care for people
You don't have to prioritize learning above all else
Life is calling you
It's your time to answer
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