Transforming Patterns in Relationships

Have you ever felt like you have to choose between you and a relationship?  I know I have.  It's this either/or scenario, either I have all of me, or I have this relationship in its current form.  What is the architecture that is structuring this reality?  One thing that came forward in a class I facilitated last night on Transforming Relationships was this question of: who do you become, or what do you have to lose or give up in order to be needed, wanted, desired, valued or liked by someone else?  Another common question to gather awareness from is: who do you become when you want to get love from someone?  There is a possibility for relationships where we come together and become more.  Through our very meeting instead of having to give something up, we actually become greater.  What would that be like to have that as the norm for relationships?

There are so many templates, imprints, and old structures for relationships that we carry.  One old template is valuing sacrifice or giving up something in order to get something else. Another that was explored last night is where the language and models of economics have seeped into the landscape of relationships.  We look at things with questions like: is this worth it?  Is it worth the risk?  Essentially doing a cost vs. benefit analysis, or looking at perceived gain vs perceived loss to assess the value or worth of the relationship, or subconsciously treating relationships as a system of exchange, treating each other as commodities that either appreciate or depreciate in value based on the quality of the interactions.  What if now is the time to change this?  What if we can be the ones to usher in a new template, or form of relationships?  What if relationship can be two people coming together in their wholeness?  We're not coming together to exchange goods and services, symbolically or literally.  Nor are we coming together to mold into some altered form that seems to work best for the relationship, that involves giving something up.

Whatever relationships we step into often meet us where we are, at our level of development, as a reflection of how much we're functioning according to imprints, old structures, and fragmented personality structures that just want to be loved, seen and healed.  I take a deep breath in and commit to bringing my talents and abilities forward to change the face of relationships in my life and in the world.  I celebrate how far each of us have come in stepping into what feels good, and what feels like a true reflection of who we are.  I can feel the potential of all of us coming together and relating in our wholeness, in our beauty, in our brilliance, and in our vulnerability.  I can feel the possibility of coming together and being intentional in our interactions, really tuning in to the question of: what do we desire to express here?  What do we desire to create here?  What gifts do we have to celebrate with each other?  We no longer have to be locked into exchanging energy, or relating based on economic structures.  Let's demand to know what works for us now and commit to living as that.  What do you know about what you would like to have that if you acknowledged it would change that patterns of relationships you have been functioning from?  I wonder how much more of who we are can be expressed in the context of relationships?  What if now is the time to be all that we are, come together to celebrate our wholeness and support each other to express our gifts, talents and abilities for the benefit of all?