What is true caring? This was a question a group of us explored in a recent online class that I facilitated. There are many behaviors that people enact in the name of caring, many of which don't feel good, or can leave you with a weird twisted feeling. It's all those things people would do like judge, criticize, worry or control in the name of caring or "because they care". True caring doesn't require a reason or a justification, nor does it require an attachment or defined relationship. For many, attachment precedes caring. The reason for caring is because there is some sort of bond or attachment in place. I.e. mother-daughter or so, or father-daughter or son, or lover or partner. For me there was a period of time where I actually preferred to not be cared about. It wasn't the caring itself that I wanted to shut out, it was what came along with it, that felt stifling and confining. Often when someone "cared" about me that also included things like worrying, projection, expectation, concern, control or needing me to act or be a certain way to make them feel at ease and ensure that I was okay.
Do you have any negative associations with caring? Negative associations would be things such as, caring = being controlled, caring = giving up choice, caring = performing for others, caring = hiding anything that could lead to conflict or disagreement. One great practice that Evette Rose presented in her Metaphysical Anatomy Level 2 Certification Training that I attended in LA, was to address negative associations by saying: I acknowledge the difference between ____________ and _______________. I.e. I acknowledge the difference between caring and being controlled, or I acknowledge the difference between caring and performing for others. With the associations in place it can prevent us from having what we truly desire. So, for instance, as we acknowledge the difference between caring and the need to control, how much more freedom can we have in relationships?
Sometimes when those negative associations are in place, before we've discovered how to release them, we can try to "not care" as a way of escaping from the perceived pain of caring or being cared for. Can you as a Being not care? We can pretend, but we have to shut down, separate, reject and disassociate from who we are quite a bit in order to try to achieve this. So, one path to greater freedom in regards to this is to become aware of anywhere you've decided you "don't care" and examine whether that's actually true. You can then choose to be aware of how much you as a Being cares, and ask for the gratitude, kindness, peace, calm and other energies you truly be to show up. Then you can acknowledge anything you've associated with caring or have been taught that caring is that it actually isn't.
One thing that you can request to receive more clarity about this is: Universe please show me what true caring is. I wonder how caring can show up in your life now. What are ways that you can be cared for that you've never acknowledged or considered? What are ways that you can be caring that you've been denying or refusing? I wonder how much more caring we can offer and receive.