For many of us we're coming into a time of being able to sense, know, and claim our authentic needs, wants and desires and to align with the people, places and things that are truly compatible with who we are. For some it's easier to claim "this is what I want, or this is what I need or this is what I desire." For others of us its not so easy. Primarily because of associations that we're made as a result of life experiences. For instance, a need, want or desire may have threatened closeness or connection. A need or want went against the family system, or the culture, or the someone that we valued or appreciated. If having authentic or unique wants, needs and desires is associated with loss of connection, or criticism, or shame, or condemnation or any negative emotional response from others than we learn to suppress them. Now is the time when these wounds can be healed and new possibilities can be initiated. We can learn to acknowledge needs, wants and desires, no matter what they are and work with them. We can choose to see, hear, feel and understand them. We can choose to take them in and accept them as part of our selves. As we do this they may take on a new flavor or form, or they may stay as they are, except be welcomed rather than pushed away.
What if what is true or authentic about you is needed, wanted or desired by others? Experiencing that would offer resolution to the parts of you stuck in the in the torment of having to become inauthentic or modify, contort or adjust the self to conform to what was acceptable, okay, or valid according to those around you. Who you are and what you want, need and desire is valid. It is what is true and real about you and something to be worked with. It can take a lot to face the wounds of incompatibility or the torment of being inauthentic. Especially if we have been praised, appreciated or approved of based on our capacity to shape, mold, modify and adjust ourselves. Imagine what it would be like to just have your thoughts, have your feelings and have your needs, wants and desires and be with them, from love, from the space of truth with a commitment to seeing, hearing, feeling and understanding them. This choice and commitment can go a long way, in terms of restoring sanctity, presence and peace.
Many of us have not been taught or shown to work with what is real or true about us. Now is the time to gain this capacity, learn how to do this and build our lives from this authentic place. We've often internalized the way other people were when we had or expressed a need, want or desire that was different from there's. If there was a response like, "you don't need that!" "Why do you want that?" "No one needs that." etc. the inner response to this is often shame and an impulse to withdrawal and shut down or fight. Now is the time where we can truly cultivate an inner environment of love, which means that we can commit to resolving the hurt and pain of this and offering ourselves new experiences. To love means to consider the best interests of something. It means to see, hear, feel and understand it. It means to accommodate it. It means to validate it's existence. As the space becomes available to step into, one in which we claim who we are and commit to being with and working with what is authentic about us, we can then offer love and compassion to the parts of us, whether within us or others that have been committed to in-authenticity or committed to coping with incompatibility with more and more tools and strategies. I wonder, as we truly commit to authenticity and compatibility, or the reality of what we each want, need and desire what can show up to support it? What would it be like to have what is real and true about you called forth by the environment? What if you can contribute to meeting and fulfilling what's here to be met and fulfilled? If you'd like more on this subject matter you're welcome to read my blogs: Facing Incompatibility, Healing the Wounds of Incompatibility and Beyond Self-Modification.