Healing the Wounds of Incompatibility

Incompatibility is essentially when what you want, need or desire to give, provide, have or receive is different than what someone else wants, needs, or desires.  This wouldn't be a problem if both people were able to accommodate for the differences.  In other words, the differences could be acknowledged, embraced, accepted and encouraged.  They are merely an expression of our uniqueness.  They just are.  We can't actually get rid of our true wants, needs, and desires.  They are here to be worked with and to be fully available to in order to inform our choices and actions in life.  Without them we are lost at sea with no compass help us establish a direction and know where we are.  

Unfortunately, the reality for many of us has been that people we grew up with or met in the course of our lives could not allow for our true needs, desires and preferences to be there. They were a problem.  They were wrong to have.  They were incorrect.  They may have been judged, condemned, discouraged, misunderstood, denied, rejected, and shunned.  Essentially, having wants and needs was associated with pain.  It can be quite a process to shift to a space where needs and desires can be met with enthusiasm and curiosity as to how they can be met and fulfilled.  Regardless of the potential challenges involved in a shift of this magnitude, imagine the freedom of being released from all positive and negative associations with having needs and desires.  Tune into what it would be like for them just to be there and having your life be about meeting and fulfilling them.  Given that our true needs and desires are an extension or expression of who we truly are, this can also translate into:  It's okay for me to be here.  It's okay for who I am to exist.  Who I am can be accommodated for, encouraged, embraced and accepted.

From where we are now we can welcome in healing experiences, or the people, places and things that support and encourage us to be here and embrace and act upon our true needs and desires.  We can be free of the wounding of any and all opposite experiences.  It can take a lot to meet the pain of what's gone on before now.  Yet what if life could truly rally around each of us now, and support us to initiate a new trajectory?  And as we strengthen in our capacity to do this, we can offer the same encouragement and support to others.  If you're interested in this subject matter you're welcome to explore these recent blogs I wrote on topics such as Facing Incompatibility, Building Your Life and Building Trust.