Really tune into that question: Do you have the choice to be happy? As you tune into this question you may become aware of what is keeping you from having that choice, or there may be part of you that says yes of course I do, and another part that says no I don't. So, what would it be like if you had the choice to be happy? Who or what may be keeping you from that choice? If you believe that you should be happy or have to be happy, or if you carry beliefs that people will leave you if you're not happy, or get mad at you and reject you if you are happy, or if you house cellular or emotional memories of what happened when you were happy or what happened when you weren't happy, then being happy may not yet be a choice. If being happy is a need or necessity you will put pressure on yourself and develop denial patterns of thinking or believing that you're happy when from a feeling/emotion/body perspective you are not. If you believe that your life won't go well or you won't attract what you want into your life unless you're happy, you might end up developing coping mechanisms like controlling or manipulating your emotional body to be good no matter what, or rejecting anyone who is capable of seeing you clearly, or projecting that everything is good when actually you're having a difficult time which may lead to a lack of intimacy in your relationships and a distrust of connection. If you believe that you'll be abandoned, people will hate you, or be jealous of you or envy you or judge you if you are happy think of the pressure you'll put on yourself to not be TOO happy!
One thing that is key to acknowledge is that the beliefs that we carry aren't random. They were formed through a set of experiences. Either we lived the experience directly, or witnessed someone else live it, or were threatened with the potential of undesired circumstances if we were to be or do something other than what we were told. What we wake up to is the fact that if we are able to access and acknowledge the moment of choice and subsequently choose again we can create something different. When we choose to be or do something different our past no longer dictates our future. When we become aware of choices we have, claim our free will or our freedom to choose, life changes and new possibilities become available. So, can you choose to be happy? What if you could change anything that doesn't allow that choice to be available? Perhaps this means giving yourself permission to feel unhappy, or acknowledge and be honest with yourself if you are feeling sad, angry or let down.
As we meet ourselves authentically where we are and how we are, it allows for us to progressively know our true needs, wants and desires and move towards having those needs met and desires fulfilled. Our reality can better reflect who we are. Our capacity to love, nurture, celebrate and honour ourselves and others expands. Happiness becomes a choice, not a need or necessity. If you tend to put a lot of pressure on yourself and would like to change that you can read my blog, It's Time to Take the Pressure Off. If you're stuck feeling like you have to be positive, upbeat and happy when underneath your feeling sad, angry or powerless to change your life circumstances read my blog, What to Do When Being Positive Stops Working. If you would like one on one support to be met where you're at and move in the direction of authentically being happy I would love to assist you. You can go to my session page to see my offerings and get in touch to schedule a free 20 minute consultation.
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Christine helps people to approach life with greater care, love & wisdom. offering presence and a unique quality of attention she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on. With all of the different tools and methods she has access to, she inspires, encourages and supports people to really love and honour themselves, and thus be more able to love and honour others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!