Liberating Your Self-Concept

A topic that came forward during my last online class was acknowledging that many of us are ready to graduate from using our energy to validate or invalidate a self-concept and instead have our life force energy fully available for building our lives.  A self-concept is something we develop through experience.  Such as, I am not worthy, or I am not deserving of good things, or I am unlovable.  Through the course of personal development, many of the approaches are designed to improve the self-concept and adopt the view of: I am worthy, I am deserving of good things and I am lovable.  Somewhere along the way, people, places and things start to be used as a measure of how we're doing.  For instance, if you don't have money, that's an indicator that you don't feel or believe that you're worthy.  If you have people around you that aren't overly attuned to your needs, or refuse to give you attention it's an indicator that you don't believe that you're lovable.  So the strategy is to keep improving your self-concept until your circumstances begin reflecting the changes. 

For a while, these strategies may work.  There may be observable improvements and significant progress in regards to how you think and feel and how you respond to things.  You may have some breakthroughs and significant healing experiences.  Eventually though, this approach stops working, or ceases to be supportive of true change.  Even though it can be born of a positive intention, to improve how you think and feel about yourself and manifest or attract more desirable life circumstances, if people, places and things are being used to validate or invalidate a self-concept such as, see, I am worthy, money is showing up, or see I am deserving of good things this person is being kind, you're not actually having genuine interactions with your environment.  You're not truly available to relate with people, places and things, instead your using them for your own self-interest.  You're using them as a barometer or gauge of how you're doing, rather than actually offering your presence, attention and love for the purpose of learning, growth and awareness.  Often, the reality of this is not seen and at first can be difficult to admit to.  It's not that you were consciously using your environment in a self-serving way, it was more that you were caught up in a desire for self improvement and that was just the side effect or shadow side of that strategy.

So, where to from here?  Essentially, once we realize what we've been up to we can free ourselves from these attempts to build, correct or improve a self-concept, by claiming our choice and commitment to building a life.  Instead of having our attention directed at the self, we can live from the Self that we've been getting more and more in touch with.  We can acknowledge our unique presence in the world and invite our authentic needs, wants, desires and priorities to be known to our consciousness and through the totality of our field and welcome the life that matches it.  What people, places and things match these authentic needs, wants and desires?  Tune in to what it would be like to get to have your individuated presence and full attention available to engage and interact with the people, places and things that are drawn to you.  In a sense, you get to be liberated from the fixation on building a self-concept and finally have your presence, energy and attention available to build your life and engage with elements of the world.  Is this where you're at?  If you would like to read other blogs that cover similar subject matter you can check out, Liberating Your Attention, Beyond Self-Modification, Building Your Life and What Lives Underneath Your Desire to Help.