What can we each be and do to contribute to the creation of a world born of love, safety, support and integrity? So much is "up" in the personal, collective and planetary fields to bear witness to, as a reflection of the world we once inhabited that was based on fear and separation, orchestrated through strategies of domination, manipulation and control and founded upon the promise of rewards and success and the threat of punishment and failure. We have outgrown this world and are here to facilitate the transition or birth of a new one. It is already here, alive in each of us. May it be reflected in the collective and global fields of reality more and more as "time" goes on. Blessing the unfolding. Here is a brief video I recorded on the topic of restoring our integrity.
In polarity, or environments based in fear and separation, the set up is to strive to have a positive impact and be a positive influence and not have a negative impact or be a negative influence. If you are deemed to be a negative influence you are shamed, criticized, diminished or punished in some way. If you are deemed to be a positive influence or to have positively impacted someone's life you are rewarded, praised, exalted, or appreciated. This could be a straight forward thing if the assessments of what was positive and negative were consistent. What can lead to confusion is that the assessments are based on beliefs, family, cultural and societal influences.
Many of us carry the pain of being accused of being a negative influence in a situation when we felt like we were doing the right thing or being good. As a result, we carry imprints of shame and learned to doubt or dis-trust ourselves or others. This confusion can lead to a shutting down or avoidance of any situation that resembles the ones that caused us pain. One strategy of avoidance can be not wanting to have an influence or an impact at all. Another strategy would be to adopt control-based measures, so as to prevent us from being associated with anything negative. This could also lead to criticizing or condemning anyone else who is deemed to be a negative influence. However you are prompted to look at, think about, speak about or treat others, is how you were once treated.
So, once we become aware of the predicament we've been in what can we do? The main thing, is to acknowledge the way fear based environments are structured, see what has gone on, feel the residue of having lived in that scenario, and step into this field and frequency of love that is available now. We can create or live in a love-based field. To explore some potentials of what that is like, you can read my blogs Love Based Creation and Establishing Love Based Relationships. In the same light, we can come to know what it is like to be a love-based influence and have a love-based impact. It's an exploration that we can each initiate and dive into as we become aware that it is possible to do so. Imagine showing up to think, speak and act free of control-based motives. Feel into the liberation of not having to track, monitor or control what's happening and instead trust in the unfolding of life. Our actions can be initiated from this space of love and trust. I wonder what impact and influence we can have as we embody the truth of this. If you would like to dive in to this subject matter as it applies specifically to you in your life, you're welcome to join in for my online class called Influence & Immunity, which is being held tomorrow night (April 21st) from 6-7:30pm MDT. You can visit the resources page to learn more.
In moments of stress or intensity there can be a tendency for our attention to become fixed or exclusive. The other thing that can happen is that our attention is drawn to what is positive or what is negative. We may also be prompted to pay attention to the biggest threat, or to that which is the makes us feel the most safe or secure. Various forces may vie for our attention. The invitation today is to ask the question: In times of stress or uncertainty what do I give the most attention to? What do I give the least attention to? I have a few blogs that dive into this subject matter. The first is called, Liberating Your Attention. As our attention is liberated it becomes more possible to develop "inclusive" attention, which means we are free of the necessity to control and our attention is fluid, available and progressively more and more informed by love. Another blog that expands on this possibility is called Love Based Attention. I wonder how much more mentally and emotionally free we can be to meet life here and now and offer who we are to whatever conditions or circumstances we find ourselves in.
In moments like this when we rely solely on mental models to govern our perception, it can lead us to feeling trapped, stuck, frustrated and defeated. I recorded a video today that talks about five different mental models and what you can do if you have got caught living inside of one or more of them. These mental models can be helpful or useful to implement in certain situations when deemed appropriate and relevant, yet if we end up living inside of them it cuts us off from other modes of perception that can guide action. The five mental models are: 1) The problem-solution model, 2) The broken-fixing model, 3) The wounded-healing model, 4) The wrong in need of correction or making it right model and 5) The question-answer model. I welcome you to see if you're stuck inside of any of these and if so this video may help you to have a new choice, thus opening the door to different modes of perception, including your heart field and your body's wisdom!
The field of Love contains everything that is life and death. Becoming love essentially means that we become capable of meeting this field of polarity in a new way. I recorded this brief video today to present the energetics of the field of love and to introduce the potential of meeting the fear of death within us from this spacious presence. In a sense, the fear will always be there, as it is a part of the human condition, yet it can be integrated by the total Self and no longer "cause" us to implement fear-based strategies of domination/submission, manipulation and control. We instead get to approach life and death in a new way, informed by our innate intelligence as a living Being and choose what truly enriches life and embraces death, igniting the possibility of true freedom from within.
The field of love contains the totality of what is life and death, pleasure and pain and joy and sadness. Our bodies, hearts and minds can be held, nourished, cared for and supported by this field of love. Suffering occurs when we are cut off from love and enter into a field of fear and separation. In this field life becomes positioned in opposition to death. Pain is set up as being a threat to pleasure, and sadness a threat to joy. One becomes the enemy to avoid, protect against, push away, reject and deny. We try to prevent death, pain and sadness and cling to life, pleasure and joy. Or, in modern day humanity we're conditioned to be on the side of life, pain and sadness and trained to keep away death, pleasure and joy. Pleasure, joy and death is a threat to what's considered to be most real, which is life, sadness and pain. It's okay to want or hope for pleasure and joy, but not to have it.
Here and now we have the choice to become reacquainted with the field of love. We can acknowledge that pleasure is not opposed to pain, life is not opposed to death and joy is not opposed to sadness. As this separation and polarization is un-done and clear seeing returns, we can become that which includes all of it. As our hearts, bodies and minds are liberated from suffering we become capable of embracing what we've been conditioned to not embrace, which is joy, pleasure and death. Death is as important to the well-being of our bodies as life. Every day cells die and new cells are made. The cells of our immune system engulf those cells that pose harm to the well-being of the body. The death of beliefs that cause harm to self or others can enrich life, and liberate our minds so we're no longer tortured and tormented by self-hate. In the field of love, pleasure is not objectified, it is fully embraced, seen, felt, sensed and known. In this field of love, Joy has the space and freedom to circulate, nourish, and bless all that is. As we are resourced, we can also accommodate for the reality of pain and sadness. It is not excluded or denied, just as pleasure and joy are not excluded or denied.
I welcome you to acknowledge the field and frequency of love, that contains the totality of what is. As the totality is contained within the embrace of the Self, fear and separation can be seen for what it is. It is a part of the human condition. It is here to be met within us and within the world. As it's met within us from this field and frequency of love it may spontaneously shift, change, transform, dissolve, or show up differently. A few days ago I re-posted a meditation I recorded over a year ago called, Meeting Fear from Love. It's quite stunning if you'd like to listen to it. I'll add it to the bottom of this blog. Here and now we can deepen our capacity to meet life, death, joy, sadness, pleasure and pain from Love. All can be met, seen, felt and included. And as the spaciousness of Being is known, joy and pleasure can be chosen, as a source of learning and growth. Just as sadness and pain is a source of learning and growth. As our perception of this field of love is strengthened, love can truly become the teacher, in and through all polarity. Is now the time?
Today I chose to pull out this video excerpt from a class I delivered last year on pleasure beyond polarity. Essentially, knowing pleasure in the field and frequency of love, rather than in a condition of fear where it is tied to rewards or diminished in its ability to be truly transformative. This video is a great overview, synthesis and foundation for work I'll be sharing soon! If you would like to purchase the audio of the full class for $15 CAN you can do so through paypal (www.paypal.me/cyole/15). In the notes just mention "pleasure beyond polarity" and the email address you'd like me to send it to.
Last year I developed a model to describe the environment of fear based learning compared to that of love based learning and articulated how many of us are ready to graduate from fear based learning, and learn lessons in the field and frequency of love. For the background on this you can read my blog: Is it Time to Graduate from Fear Based Learning? As a quick summary here, fear based learning is based on the model of punishment and reward. The common source of motivation is to move away from pain and punishment and towards pleasure and rewards. Embedded in this model are assessments of good vs bad, right vs wrong, good enough vs not good enough, worthy vs not worthy, deserving vs not deserving and notions of working hard enough to earn the rewards, and avoid the punishments. Pleasure is poised as a hoped for reward if enough of the conditions are met.
With pleasure as a reward it implies that you've done something good or right in order to be earn it, be worthy of it, deserve it or be good enough for it. If you asses that you haven't met these conditions you will consciously or subconsciously reject it. If it comes to you, through various forms, and you believe that you haven't "done enough" it may lead you to fear that you'll have to pay, or that you'll have to do something right or good in the future, which can lead to the notion that it's just not worth it. This imprinting or understanding of how things work can lead people to keep pleasure at bay or even fear it's arrival. In other words, if life starts getting "too good" something has to happen to "bring you back to reality." What if right now as your reading this you can spontaneously lay down this model and choose with your free will to learn the lessons of love?
Both pleasure and pain can be felt, sensed, known and experienced in a new context. In the wider context of love based learning, you can start where you are, lifting out the burden of inherited impressions of how life is and get to experience it directly, spontaneously and first hand. You can become curious about when and how joy and pleasure show up in your life. You can initiate a new dance with life that invites playfulness, lightness, and fun. Both pleasure and pain can be teachers and so can the responses that arise within you to these experiences. I welcome you into this field and frequency of love! Thank you for reading this. Stay tuned for new content that illuminates, invites and encourages love to awaken in pleasure and pain and transform itself into total joy!
For today I invite us into a curiosity around the difference between the field of desire and the field of expectations. How does it feel to expect yourself to take care of yourself? How does it feel to desire to take care of yourself? How does the expectation for Self-Care differ from the desire to choose it? I wrote a blog a few years ago exploring my perspective at that time of the difference between expectation and desire. I'll post it below. Is it possible to get in touch with the desire for Self-Care and be liberated from the expectations of you regarding it?
Here's the blog post from July 2nd, 2016, exploring the difference between expectations and desires:
"An expectation is something that is placed on you, either by yourself or someone else. It has a quality of pushing or being pushed. Someone can expect something of you. It's a standard that's imposed that you can be motivated to achieve or meet. Typically there are consequences attached to not meeting or living up to the expectation, some sort of punishment (something being taken away, withheld or kept from you, unless or until you meet the expectation). On the other side of the coin if you do meet the expectation there is some sort of reward, or acknowledgment or praise.
A desire is something that you can have for yourself, or someone can have for you. It has the quality of being pulled towards someone or something. It's something that emerges from you, often in response to contrast. When someone isn't being kind or loving, the desire is to have someone in your life who is kind and loving. There are two main types of desires, the desire to escape and the desire to express. The desire to escape is what you don't want to be, do, have, or experience. The desire to express is what you do want to be, do, have or experience. When we tune into what we desire to express that can call us into action. It's what is often called inspiration.
Most of us were brought up in an environment based in expectation. There were imposed standards that we were trying to live up to. If we lived up to the standard or expectation we were rewarded, loved, praised and appreciated. If we didn't live up to the standard or expectation we were shamed, made wrong, rejected or cast out of the group. This is based in control. It is designed to motivate people to behave good and do the right thing and prevent them from being bad and doing the wrong thing. The challenge with this structure is that it takes the place of the internal guidance system, in other words, if no one is there to impose the standard or expectation we don't know what to do. Some of us will end up sitting around waiting for someone or something to provide guidance and direction. This occurs most often if we have been conditioned to live up to expectations and have received sufficient love, attention and appreciation for performing well or succeeding. Others of us will be in a resistance and reaction pattern, rebelling against what someone else told us to do often by doing very opposite of what they want for us. This occurs if we more often did not meet or live up to other people's expectations and thus experienced disappointment, let down, rejection and lack of love, attention and appreciation. Ideally, for this particular model to work, we had to have internalized enough expectations (originally put on us by others) to keep ourselves motivated to push forward and reward or punish ourselves in whatever way we have been taught to do.
So the invitation here, if you're noticing that your motivation is waning or that placing expectations on yourself or having someone else put them on you isn't working to guide your life forward or push you in what is deemed to be the right direction, is to consider getting in touch with your desires. What do you desire to express? If you had total choice to guide and direct your life who would you chose to be? What would you choose to do? And what would you like to have in your life? Sometimes it can be easier to get in touch with what you desire to escape, or who you don't what to be, what you don't want to do and what you don't want to have in your life. That can be a starting place, which can then be translated into what you desire to express. As this awareness expands, the inspiration or call to action can show up, your internal guidance system can come online, and those feelings of joy, happiness, and appreciation for living can emerge. What if now is the time to live from this space and live your life in full expression! If you would like support or assistance with this process go to the contact me page and request a session. I would be happy to assist you to gain access to your desires, become reacquainted with your internal guidance system and act from inspiration."
For those who chose to engage with my inspired offerings for 12 Days of Self-Care, thank you! I wonder what can arise now, as a launching pad from this new moment of now.
Today I wanted to offer a reminder that self-care isn't something you have to do on your own. To truly activate Self-Care it's about acknowledging your capacity to give and receive the energy or quality of caring. It's also about acknowledging the people, places and things that support and facilitate it, as well as becoming curious about your gift as a supporter and facilitator. It can become something that you come together with people in the space of, and share in the activity of giving and receiving it. Caring can take so many forms. The key is to offer love and support in the spirit of enriching or enhancing the well-being of whomever and whatever you are caring for.
Caring can be offered in a field of reciprocity, activating the experience of loving and being loved, nurturing and being nurtured, supporting and being supported, enriching and being enriched, inspiring and being inspired as so on. It can spark the joy of living and encourage intimacy. Where can you invite this quality of caring into your life? How else can your life be enriched? Who else can come together with you to ignite this potential and make this a living reality? If you would like one-on-one support to really activate this field of Self-Care, as it applies to your mental, emotional and physical well-being please get in touch through my sessions page.
Christine helps people to navigate transitions with love and wisdom. offering presence and care she can assist people to play an active role in their mental, emotional and physical health no matter what is going on in life. With all of the different tools, methods and wisdom she has access to, she inspires, encourages and makes it possible for people to really love and honor themselves, and thus be more able to love and honor others. Through her patience, kindness and astute awareness of the body, mind and heart she accelerates people's self-healing journeys and makes the inner and outer world a whole lot easier to navigate!